Thursday, October 07, 2004

Some Random Thoughts, Oct 7....

New college picks are up. Take a peek....

************************************************

I thought Biff from Back to the Future selling memorabilia was funny, but now I see John Barnam, who played Spaulding Smails in Caddyshack, is a real estate agent in Boston. That may trump it.

"I want a condo, and some air conditioning, and a hamburger, and a pool......"

"You will get nothing and like it!"

************************************************

I just don't trust George Bush. The last person who listened to a bush was Moses, and the bush stranded him in the desert for 40 years with no idea what he was doing. So here we are, and we have been in the desert for only 4 years. This all sounds too familiar.....

************************************************

So I am drinking lemon lime gatorade out of a drink container that holds a liter. So, I make a new batch and put it in the work refridgerator. I wonder how many people think its a urine sample. And if they do, do they freak out when I drink some and put it back in half full?

************************************************

The Benefactor: Oh, so much has happened! I can honestly say that these are the most worthless people on earth. What a group of scrubs, with absolutely no redeeming characteristics. As of this posting, we are down to the final four (really five, which I will explain). I dont even know where to start. First, in episode two, they had to make teams, and then entertain Cuban for 3 hours. Well, two groups took him out to like arcades and stuff. Pretty standard, the billionaire doing the things he never has time to do. But wait a minute, he keeps talking about how busy he is. Busy doing what? He owns a basketball team and a house. What other deals is he still working on? He has A BILLION DOLLARS. He is done in the world of transactions as far as I am concerned. So the third group takes him to a children's hospital. Its all nice, but Cuban had been there. He proceeds to scold the group for not thinking that maybe he had been there, and that the goal of the task was to not waste his time. He essentially told them that the trip to see sick kids was nice, but sort of a waste of his time. Brutal, absolutely brutal. In the end, three people remained: The fat guy, the weird guy, and the bitch. All three were then subjected to a panel of children to determine who would get cut. The fat guy was a spazz, the bitch was fake, and the weird guy....was weird. Clssic moment, this guy, who looks like Paul Reubens and Balki from Perfect Strangers had a kid, is just a dumpy guy, with very little charisma. At one point, he flashes a tatoo of Yoda on his shoulder. What!?!? Then, he flashes another Star Wars tatoo on his other shoulder! This guy singlehandedly one the least likely and most likely bets at the same time. The least likely bet was that he would have a tatoo, but the most likely bet was that, once we knew he had a tatoo, it would be of Yoda. The greatest moment ever then occurred when the fat guy, after getting cut, began to sob uncontrollably, stating that he had met a lot of good friends who he wouldnt see again. Im sorry, it was day TWO! How many close friends did you meet in 48 hours, of which you were with only two people for half of that time? Just horrible. My wife is about to leave me, and I havent cried as much as this guy did over leaving a room ful of strangers. Just stunning. Next show,they all had to take 1000 dollars, and dazzle Cuban. Well, dont forget, our hero Dominic, the self proclaimed rock star. He managed to spend the entire grand on a guitar, play a crappy song with some alt-rock college band, then smash the thing. Um, ok. Meanwhile, the guy from San Diego set up a website called Be a Rockstar, which was horrendous. But it brought about the classic Dominic line: "I dont know what he is doing. Clearly, I am the rockstar in the house." It still brings me to tears just thinking about it. We eventually lost more people, and more people, as Cuban and his extra tight neck chain cut people at random. This past week, more hijinx. Two teams of three scoured the Dallas area for basketball players for a game of HORSE organized by Cuban. The rules: One guy, one gal, and one kid under 12. Both teams managed to put their teams together by (a) visiting the local rec center, (b) walking aimlessley around town, (c) recruiting a guy out of a FootLocker, and (d) inviting a person sight on scene over the phone. (who turned out to be a chick so old, when she walked on the court, she asked, "What, no peach baskets?") What a travesty. Not once did they visit SMU or even a JC. I am at a loss at this point. Eventually, the entire competition came down to the two kids and a three point shot. One kid missed, and the opposing team actually taunted the kid! It was the worst thing I have ever seen, and they are all going to hell. At one point, the female professional football player (and I want to see her W-2's by the way...pro means paid) exclaimed that she wanted to kick the ass of every other person on the other team ("And I can, too!") Had to be the first case of nationally televised roid rage by a woman. Well, now we are down to 4 miscreants after a number of people were cut, including Dominic. However, since Cuban has a man-crush on Dominic (it is so obvious) I am convinced that not only will Dominic not be cut, he will manage to win the whole thing, and blow most of his million dollars on booze and chicks. The rest Im sure he will waste.....

************************************************

Im stressed, and its time to go. Apprentice tonight. Dont miss it. Im out.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home