"If you can't pick out the sucker in the first 30 minutes at the table.....then you are the sucker."
-Rounders
Oh, Portland. What is up with this team? Every week it's a new guy getting busted for weed, or DUI, or stealing cable, or whatever. Look, I'm no idiot....half the NBA is smoking pot or driving drunk. But this is the only team of jackasses getting caught. One guy rolls through an airport metal detector with weed in tinfoil. Um, genius....aluminum is a METAL. Sigh. Look, we all do stupid stuff, but most of us have the 6 brain cells required to know that you do it in PRIVATE...great, big deal, you smoke weed. Half the planet does. Just do it in the bathtub, not on the bus...
I always wanted to know how long Phil Conners was in Punxatawny, PA. You know, Bill Murray in Groundhog Day? It seems like 3 weeks or so in the movie, but really, it had to be like a year didn't it? He learned to play the piano, do ice sculpture and recite french poetry. Not to mention he spent time trying to kill himself, and then memorizing the entire day of an entire town. As far as Im concerned, if I got stuck in one day, give me Vegas. You could blow all your money, get totally trashed, even go to jail, and wake up in your suite at the Bellagio the next morning. You know, as I was writing that, I totally changed my mind. My wedding day was pretty great, I think I could relive that over and over. Hmm, maybe not. I'd have to do the same thing, I couldnt move around much. Ok, give me Chicago. Favorite town, and I could party right up until 6 am.
Along those same lines, what about sports movies? Don't you ever wonder what a guy's stats are from the movie? I watch Hoosiers, and I could swear Jimmy goes for like 45. He hits every shot, and scores like 90% of Hickory's points. Or Bull Durham, where Nuke goes for 18 walks and 18 strikeouts in his first game. I just wonder if he kept it up.....
Speaking of Hoosiers, watch the scene where Hackman talks to Jimmy. Jimmy hits every single shot until the last line, when Hackman says "I don't care if you play or not." Then Jimmy misses. I wonder how many takes that took. Along the same lines, watch Blue Chips. Nick Nolte talks with the AD of his college, while the Ad (about 65 years old) is shooting free throws. The AD hits every free throw in the scene, nothin but net. The actor? Hall of Fame Celtic Bob Cousy.
Anyone who prefers Shemp to Curly is certifiably insane. We need to ship these people to Guam. Don't even get me started on Curly Joe....
I can't decide who my favorite tv characters are of all time. Gotta say Arnold Jackson and Norm Peterson. But The Fonz, Kramer, Costanza.....all classics. Do cartoons count? Give me Cartman any day of the week. "Screw you guys, Im goin home...."
My roommate says that "arguing strengthens a relationship." If that's the case, then he and his lady are joined at the hip. They make Tommy and Pam Anderson look like Romeo and Juliet. Frazier and Ali didn't fight this much. Bill and Hillary might suggest that they "have some issues."
I've decided --> real work sucks. I always look at people's hands. They will tell you if they have ever had a day of real work in their life. If I can tell someone hasn't, I get very angry. Everyone should sweat at least once for the dollar they earn.
"I've finally exposed the facade/ your little lungs is too small to hotbox with God."
-Rounders
Oh, Portland. What is up with this team? Every week it's a new guy getting busted for weed, or DUI, or stealing cable, or whatever. Look, I'm no idiot....half the NBA is smoking pot or driving drunk. But this is the only team of jackasses getting caught. One guy rolls through an airport metal detector with weed in tinfoil. Um, genius....aluminum is a METAL. Sigh. Look, we all do stupid stuff, but most of us have the 6 brain cells required to know that you do it in PRIVATE...great, big deal, you smoke weed. Half the planet does. Just do it in the bathtub, not on the bus...
I always wanted to know how long Phil Conners was in Punxatawny, PA. You know, Bill Murray in Groundhog Day? It seems like 3 weeks or so in the movie, but really, it had to be like a year didn't it? He learned to play the piano, do ice sculpture and recite french poetry. Not to mention he spent time trying to kill himself, and then memorizing the entire day of an entire town. As far as Im concerned, if I got stuck in one day, give me Vegas. You could blow all your money, get totally trashed, even go to jail, and wake up in your suite at the Bellagio the next morning. You know, as I was writing that, I totally changed my mind. My wedding day was pretty great, I think I could relive that over and over. Hmm, maybe not. I'd have to do the same thing, I couldnt move around much. Ok, give me Chicago. Favorite town, and I could party right up until 6 am.
Along those same lines, what about sports movies? Don't you ever wonder what a guy's stats are from the movie? I watch Hoosiers, and I could swear Jimmy goes for like 45. He hits every shot, and scores like 90% of Hickory's points. Or Bull Durham, where Nuke goes for 18 walks and 18 strikeouts in his first game. I just wonder if he kept it up.....
Speaking of Hoosiers, watch the scene where Hackman talks to Jimmy. Jimmy hits every single shot until the last line, when Hackman says "I don't care if you play or not." Then Jimmy misses. I wonder how many takes that took. Along the same lines, watch Blue Chips. Nick Nolte talks with the AD of his college, while the Ad (about 65 years old) is shooting free throws. The AD hits every free throw in the scene, nothin but net. The actor? Hall of Fame Celtic Bob Cousy.
Anyone who prefers Shemp to Curly is certifiably insane. We need to ship these people to Guam. Don't even get me started on Curly Joe....
I can't decide who my favorite tv characters are of all time. Gotta say Arnold Jackson and Norm Peterson. But The Fonz, Kramer, Costanza.....all classics. Do cartoons count? Give me Cartman any day of the week. "Screw you guys, Im goin home...."
My roommate says that "arguing strengthens a relationship." If that's the case, then he and his lady are joined at the hip. They make Tommy and Pam Anderson look like Romeo and Juliet. Frazier and Ali didn't fight this much. Bill and Hillary might suggest that they "have some issues."
I've decided --> real work sucks. I always look at people's hands. They will tell you if they have ever had a day of real work in their life. If I can tell someone hasn't, I get very angry. Everyone should sweat at least once for the dollar they earn.
"I've finally exposed the facade/ your little lungs is too small to hotbox with God."
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