Observations in blog may hit closer to home than they appear.....
"Nobody goes there anymore......it's too crowded."
-Yogi Berra
I have really been trying to look at things from other people's point of view lately, especially after finding out how unhappy my wife has been. But that has been in a philosophical sense. I got busted in the literal sense this morning. About a week ago, a friend of the house was over, and she exclaimed to me that the mirror in one of our bathrooms was "filthy" to the point that a person couldn't see themselves in it. I looked at the mirror later that day, and saw no problem. Well, I looked at that mirror this morning, and the lower half was so dirty. I neglected to compensate for the fact that my friend is a good foot shorter than me. It's amazing what a different world we are all looking at. And we wonder why we can never see eye to eye on matters.
THE APPRENTICE: The Finale
I know, it was a week ago, but the magic of TiVo has allowed me to see the final episode in piece-meal. So far, I have managed to see the first 30-40 minutes. In a house of 6 people, getting control of the main TV for a 2 hour block is synonymous with getting a private audience with the Pope. So far, I have seen the choosing of the teams for each finalist, and the beginning prep work for each project. First and foremost, both finalists appear to have missed the first thing a person in that situation should do. If I am in that situation, and my "employees" are going to be former contestants, I have to automatically assume that they are going to take a half assed approach. Even if they don't, I can not assume they will be professionals about this, because they are likely still harboring some resentment towards me. If it were me, I would have sat down everyone, and asked them straight out, why are you here. Are you being compensated? Is it a contractual obligation? Are you just getting more pub? You can not devise an effective management plan without knowing the motivation of your employees. If they are being compensated, or if they win something if I win, then I need to hold that as my trump card (no pun intended). If they are there just because, or because there is a contractual obligation, then I need to micro-manage every detail, and assume that they will screw off. Next, this whole Omarosa thing is just an embarassment. One thing no one is asking is, How did she get chosen in the first place? Over 200,000 people applied for this show, and she got on? She is lazy, a liar, and most of all, absolutely worthless as an employee and a person. She talks behind people's backs, makes excuses, and finds shortcuts all of the time. I know Kwame loses already. But from what I've seen, Ray Charles could have seen that coming. If I am Kwame, screw this whole, "I dont have the luxury of firing her", crap. You either tell her to leave, or you take all responsibility from her, and tell her to go sit in the casino. I have a bona fide hate for her. As for Bill, his biggest mistake so far is not utilizing his resources. His is getting confontational with the people he should be relying on. They know what is going on. I do give him credit though for garnering better loyalty from his team, and for better planning ahead of time. It seems there was a frost warning during the golf tournament, pushing the start time back from 9 am to 1030 am or so. Bill is running around, asking when they can start, and Trump himself (the owner of the club, mind you) has just told Bill that they will start no later than 1030. That is a major weapon to take to the head grounds keeper in insuring a start time. His next move should be to walk up to the grounds guy, and say, Trump says 1030, make it happen. Case closed. This aint show friends, its show business......to be continued......
The right to work debate that has taken over the NFL Draft these past few months made its way to the Supreme Court this week. Visit SportsPages for my take on this matter.
Mmmm, Junior Mints are quite refreshing...
What is the deal with people's obsession with foul balls? You find these sorry fat losers, throwing nachos and beer over everyone around them, diving over old ladies and invalids so that they can get their fat fingers on a pop up. If you want a ball that bad, for crying out loud, go buy one! You can get a major league ball for like 5 bucks, or roughly the price of a bag of peanuts. It totally escapes me what the infatuation is. I remember bringing my glove to the game when I was like 10. But these grown men, at the game with their girl, glove in hand. Ladies, if your man takes you to the ball game and brings his glove, leave him. You have chosen poorly. If he has a fanny pack on as well, then stay with him, because you are obviously a dork too, and you were made for each other.
While on the subject of dorky grown men, fellas, if you are over the age of 19, turn your freaking hat back around. Especially you white guys. A thirty year old guy with his hat on backwards, in public, is just a dork. You are white, and you are lame. And I dont care who you are, or what age, what color, whatever.......this sideways hat crap is just freaking stupid. I've said this before, I'm saying it again. I just want to tap these idiotic kids and just be like, uh, not sure if you knew, your hat is a little crooked. And then stab them in the eye with a spork.
Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Saw this on the shelf at the grocery store. How freaking lazy do you have to be to purchase this innovative product? "You know, I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich........but I'm not opening TWO jars. That's just too much work." Why not just throw the whole thing in a squeeze tube. Forget the bread, just squirt it into your mouth with a handful of croutons.
I just heard a news report on a radio station in Iowa (dont ask). Anyways, it seems that the local college is going to have a moment of silence to bring awareness to the inequalities that exist for gay and lesbian individuals. Why do we have a moment of silence to bring awareness? Shouldn't they have a moment of screaming? That will bring attention to the matter, I guarantee it. Hey Bob. Bob? What, not talking? Why? Hello? Bob? But if 20000 people scream at the top of their lungs for 5 minutes, now that is a story people will report. Damn, this country is pretty stupid with the crap that we do.
Speaking of crap. There is a real reluctance by people to actually say what they are going to do if it deals with a touchy subject. While I usually abhore such political correctness, it's probably not a good idea to tell a room full of people that you are going to "take a crap." The nice residue of our reluctance to be blunt is that people get very creative. There are the medically correct terms, such as a BM. Very lame, and kind of disturbing. There is the old school, #2, which has been updated for the 21st century as a "deuce." The latest favorite has been "taking the kids to the pool" or "dropping the twins off at the pool." These are good, but my personal favorite has to be "taking the Browns to the Super Bowl." Try that one out some day, and let the good times roll!
Ok, on to a serious topic. Death. Ugh, TJ, why do you bring us down so? Because after that last topic, I gotta reel us all back in. Im almost 30. Time is just flying by now. If things work out, I may have as much as 60 years left in me. Even if I don't take the best care of myself, I am not even half way through my life. So what? So, I am starting to understand this idea of mortality. I'm pushing 30, and well, I'm already kind of tired of it all. Sure, I have a ton of fun, and love going places, and being with friends, and family, and my wife. But I can totally see that in another 30 years, life is just gonna be a drag. The daily grind gets old. Maybe Im just overreacting to the recent burn out I've been suffering from. I mean, I have two more weeks of working all day, studying all night. Not exactly something to look forward to. Maybe a refresh over the summer will do me a world of good. For now though, I guess I've got a real grey look at the world. I am sure it will get better, but just thinking into the future, I can already see, Ill retire somewhere between 45 and 55, but then what? Travel for 10 years. Watch my kids grow up. Then you hit like 65-70, and there isnt much left to do. You and your spouse become roommates. The intimacy is gone at that age. You are left to day after day of buffet dinners and taping Law and Order. I guess things could be worse. God, can you imagine growing old in the days before TV and all the entertainment at our fingertips now? You would grow insane! 10 extra years of rocking on the porch, saying "yup." No wonder people died at a younger age back in the day......they were freaking bored to death!
Mind blowing stat. Barry Bonds has taken 61 swings this season, and has hit 9 home runs. Those aren't at bats.....swings. Let me say that again....swings. That is a home run every 7 swings of the bat. In addition, he has swung and missed only 7 times. So that means, if he makes contact, it leaves the park every 6 times he makes contact. Is there anything more incredible than that? Not convinced? The major league average for swings per homerun is 120. Got that? That makes Bonds like, 20 times better than the average player. 20 times! That is 1,000% better. I am not making this up.
The legal segment hasn't appeared in a while, but if you visit my Clarett article on Sports Pages, I cover some legal topics there. My other segment will close out today's blog, where I just go off on a tangential rant, so enjoy...
FREE FLOATING HOSTILITY: Why am I listening to a commercial for RVs as read by Tom Selleck? What is the first thing you think when you hear a famous actor doing voice over for some crappy commercial: Damn, is that guy broke? I know for a fact Tom Selleck isn't broke. Not that I'm his accountant, but with the Magnum royalties, and his appearance on Friends, and then those royalties, not to mention the Friends DVD royalties....he should be fine. Not to mention all the crappy movies he made. He should have plenty of money. And how much did he get for this RV commercial? A thou? Two thou? I can only assume that he is some sort of major advocate for RVs and really wants the world to know how great they are. Ok, well, that creates another problem: What major Hollywood star, with a Beverly Hills home and a fleet of cars, is an RV aficionado? Some commercials I could understand. Chris Farley for Crown Royal or Budweiser. Maybe Goldie Hawn for plastic surgery. Lara Flynn Boyle for Dexatrim or ipacac perhaps. Maybe Jack Nicholson for one of those "sponsor a child" programs, or Sean Penn for Bail Bonds? At least these people have a vested interest in the product. Whatever, my back is absolutely killing me. What is the deal with back problems? I dont mind a sprained ankle, a sore knee, a bad shoulder, whatever. I can still function. But I get one little twinge in my lower back, and seriously, I cant do anything. It hurts to sit, to walk, to lie down....to move. No matter what I do, my back hurts. Nice, makes for a real nice time. Meanwhile, I gotta work and go to school. Come on, cut me some slack, Fate! Why do people call these on-air polls on like CNN and stuff like that? For 99 cents a call, you can vote on a poll that has absolutely no value. So, do you think George Bush is doing a good job? Call in and we'll reveal the results at the end of the show! Whooppee! If it's one thing I dont need, is the result of an opinion poll where the sample is people who would pay to make a meaninless vote. Is there a segment of the population who suffers from a condition where they are addicted to voting? That is the only target group I can think that applies to. I'm done.....
-Yogi Berra
I have really been trying to look at things from other people's point of view lately, especially after finding out how unhappy my wife has been. But that has been in a philosophical sense. I got busted in the literal sense this morning. About a week ago, a friend of the house was over, and she exclaimed to me that the mirror in one of our bathrooms was "filthy" to the point that a person couldn't see themselves in it. I looked at the mirror later that day, and saw no problem. Well, I looked at that mirror this morning, and the lower half was so dirty. I neglected to compensate for the fact that my friend is a good foot shorter than me. It's amazing what a different world we are all looking at. And we wonder why we can never see eye to eye on matters.
THE APPRENTICE: The Finale
I know, it was a week ago, but the magic of TiVo has allowed me to see the final episode in piece-meal. So far, I have managed to see the first 30-40 minutes. In a house of 6 people, getting control of the main TV for a 2 hour block is synonymous with getting a private audience with the Pope. So far, I have seen the choosing of the teams for each finalist, and the beginning prep work for each project. First and foremost, both finalists appear to have missed the first thing a person in that situation should do. If I am in that situation, and my "employees" are going to be former contestants, I have to automatically assume that they are going to take a half assed approach. Even if they don't, I can not assume they will be professionals about this, because they are likely still harboring some resentment towards me. If it were me, I would have sat down everyone, and asked them straight out, why are you here. Are you being compensated? Is it a contractual obligation? Are you just getting more pub? You can not devise an effective management plan without knowing the motivation of your employees. If they are being compensated, or if they win something if I win, then I need to hold that as my trump card (no pun intended). If they are there just because, or because there is a contractual obligation, then I need to micro-manage every detail, and assume that they will screw off. Next, this whole Omarosa thing is just an embarassment. One thing no one is asking is, How did she get chosen in the first place? Over 200,000 people applied for this show, and she got on? She is lazy, a liar, and most of all, absolutely worthless as an employee and a person. She talks behind people's backs, makes excuses, and finds shortcuts all of the time. I know Kwame loses already. But from what I've seen, Ray Charles could have seen that coming. If I am Kwame, screw this whole, "I dont have the luxury of firing her", crap. You either tell her to leave, or you take all responsibility from her, and tell her to go sit in the casino. I have a bona fide hate for her. As for Bill, his biggest mistake so far is not utilizing his resources. His is getting confontational with the people he should be relying on. They know what is going on. I do give him credit though for garnering better loyalty from his team, and for better planning ahead of time. It seems there was a frost warning during the golf tournament, pushing the start time back from 9 am to 1030 am or so. Bill is running around, asking when they can start, and Trump himself (the owner of the club, mind you) has just told Bill that they will start no later than 1030. That is a major weapon to take to the head grounds keeper in insuring a start time. His next move should be to walk up to the grounds guy, and say, Trump says 1030, make it happen. Case closed. This aint show friends, its show business......to be continued......
The right to work debate that has taken over the NFL Draft these past few months made its way to the Supreme Court this week. Visit SportsPages for my take on this matter.
Mmmm, Junior Mints are quite refreshing...
What is the deal with people's obsession with foul balls? You find these sorry fat losers, throwing nachos and beer over everyone around them, diving over old ladies and invalids so that they can get their fat fingers on a pop up. If you want a ball that bad, for crying out loud, go buy one! You can get a major league ball for like 5 bucks, or roughly the price of a bag of peanuts. It totally escapes me what the infatuation is. I remember bringing my glove to the game when I was like 10. But these grown men, at the game with their girl, glove in hand. Ladies, if your man takes you to the ball game and brings his glove, leave him. You have chosen poorly. If he has a fanny pack on as well, then stay with him, because you are obviously a dork too, and you were made for each other.
While on the subject of dorky grown men, fellas, if you are over the age of 19, turn your freaking hat back around. Especially you white guys. A thirty year old guy with his hat on backwards, in public, is just a dork. You are white, and you are lame. And I dont care who you are, or what age, what color, whatever.......this sideways hat crap is just freaking stupid. I've said this before, I'm saying it again. I just want to tap these idiotic kids and just be like, uh, not sure if you knew, your hat is a little crooked. And then stab them in the eye with a spork.
Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Saw this on the shelf at the grocery store. How freaking lazy do you have to be to purchase this innovative product? "You know, I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich........but I'm not opening TWO jars. That's just too much work." Why not just throw the whole thing in a squeeze tube. Forget the bread, just squirt it into your mouth with a handful of croutons.
I just heard a news report on a radio station in Iowa (dont ask). Anyways, it seems that the local college is going to have a moment of silence to bring awareness to the inequalities that exist for gay and lesbian individuals. Why do we have a moment of silence to bring awareness? Shouldn't they have a moment of screaming? That will bring attention to the matter, I guarantee it. Hey Bob. Bob? What, not talking? Why? Hello? Bob? But if 20000 people scream at the top of their lungs for 5 minutes, now that is a story people will report. Damn, this country is pretty stupid with the crap that we do.
Speaking of crap. There is a real reluctance by people to actually say what they are going to do if it deals with a touchy subject. While I usually abhore such political correctness, it's probably not a good idea to tell a room full of people that you are going to "take a crap." The nice residue of our reluctance to be blunt is that people get very creative. There are the medically correct terms, such as a BM. Very lame, and kind of disturbing. There is the old school, #2, which has been updated for the 21st century as a "deuce." The latest favorite has been "taking the kids to the pool" or "dropping the twins off at the pool." These are good, but my personal favorite has to be "taking the Browns to the Super Bowl." Try that one out some day, and let the good times roll!
Ok, on to a serious topic. Death. Ugh, TJ, why do you bring us down so? Because after that last topic, I gotta reel us all back in. Im almost 30. Time is just flying by now. If things work out, I may have as much as 60 years left in me. Even if I don't take the best care of myself, I am not even half way through my life. So what? So, I am starting to understand this idea of mortality. I'm pushing 30, and well, I'm already kind of tired of it all. Sure, I have a ton of fun, and love going places, and being with friends, and family, and my wife. But I can totally see that in another 30 years, life is just gonna be a drag. The daily grind gets old. Maybe Im just overreacting to the recent burn out I've been suffering from. I mean, I have two more weeks of working all day, studying all night. Not exactly something to look forward to. Maybe a refresh over the summer will do me a world of good. For now though, I guess I've got a real grey look at the world. I am sure it will get better, but just thinking into the future, I can already see, Ill retire somewhere between 45 and 55, but then what? Travel for 10 years. Watch my kids grow up. Then you hit like 65-70, and there isnt much left to do. You and your spouse become roommates. The intimacy is gone at that age. You are left to day after day of buffet dinners and taping Law and Order. I guess things could be worse. God, can you imagine growing old in the days before TV and all the entertainment at our fingertips now? You would grow insane! 10 extra years of rocking on the porch, saying "yup." No wonder people died at a younger age back in the day......they were freaking bored to death!
Mind blowing stat. Barry Bonds has taken 61 swings this season, and has hit 9 home runs. Those aren't at bats.....swings. Let me say that again....swings. That is a home run every 7 swings of the bat. In addition, he has swung and missed only 7 times. So that means, if he makes contact, it leaves the park every 6 times he makes contact. Is there anything more incredible than that? Not convinced? The major league average for swings per homerun is 120. Got that? That makes Bonds like, 20 times better than the average player. 20 times! That is 1,000% better. I am not making this up.
The legal segment hasn't appeared in a while, but if you visit my Clarett article on Sports Pages, I cover some legal topics there. My other segment will close out today's blog, where I just go off on a tangential rant, so enjoy...
FREE FLOATING HOSTILITY: Why am I listening to a commercial for RVs as read by Tom Selleck? What is the first thing you think when you hear a famous actor doing voice over for some crappy commercial: Damn, is that guy broke? I know for a fact Tom Selleck isn't broke. Not that I'm his accountant, but with the Magnum royalties, and his appearance on Friends, and then those royalties, not to mention the Friends DVD royalties....he should be fine. Not to mention all the crappy movies he made. He should have plenty of money. And how much did he get for this RV commercial? A thou? Two thou? I can only assume that he is some sort of major advocate for RVs and really wants the world to know how great they are. Ok, well, that creates another problem: What major Hollywood star, with a Beverly Hills home and a fleet of cars, is an RV aficionado? Some commercials I could understand. Chris Farley for Crown Royal or Budweiser. Maybe Goldie Hawn for plastic surgery. Lara Flynn Boyle for Dexatrim or ipacac perhaps. Maybe Jack Nicholson for one of those "sponsor a child" programs, or Sean Penn for Bail Bonds? At least these people have a vested interest in the product. Whatever, my back is absolutely killing me. What is the deal with back problems? I dont mind a sprained ankle, a sore knee, a bad shoulder, whatever. I can still function. But I get one little twinge in my lower back, and seriously, I cant do anything. It hurts to sit, to walk, to lie down....to move. No matter what I do, my back hurts. Nice, makes for a real nice time. Meanwhile, I gotta work and go to school. Come on, cut me some slack, Fate! Why do people call these on-air polls on like CNN and stuff like that? For 99 cents a call, you can vote on a poll that has absolutely no value. So, do you think George Bush is doing a good job? Call in and we'll reveal the results at the end of the show! Whooppee! If it's one thing I dont need, is the result of an opinion poll where the sample is people who would pay to make a meaninless vote. Is there a segment of the population who suffers from a condition where they are addicted to voting? That is the only target group I can think that applies to. I'm done.....
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