"Damn, that girl is so fine, I'd drink her bathwater."
-Anonymous
I don't even know where to start today. Lots of stuff on my mind. I understand that readership is growing, so lets set some rules: (1) Don't email me whining that I wrote something you disagree with or that offended you. That is the point. To offend. I don't need emails from dumb people complaining that I put them in a pad light. They're dumb people, it is my job to point out their deficiencies. (2) That's it, no other rules. Who am I kidding? There are like 4 people reading this, and that counts me. Ok 5, if you count the FBI agent who is likely tracking me...
Let me give props. First and foremost to Due Now Music. Check out the website. You can listen to the songs and they are excellent. Sort of a mix between eminem and Sublime. Dude will probably hate that explanation, but it's the closest I could think of. Truth is, it's a very original style, and deserves your attention.
Some other slept on music: Dan Darrah, Seven Day Run, Mitch Budd Band
Just makes you realize, there is alot, and I mean ALOT of talented people out there. Meanwhile, I am subjected to all this pop crap all day long. I just turn off the radio. FM gets ZERO airplay in my ride. People get in, ask to hear Ninety-whatever-point-crap, and Im like, hellllllllls no! I need another lame-lyric hip hop jam fused with substandard R&B vocals like I need another hole in the head (currently 7 and counting). Parents, stop giving allowances! It's your idiot kids who are buying all this crap and imposing it's mediocre will on the masses. Only you can stop Britney and her legion of made-for-TV garbage. "Let's give Christina and Britney thanks/ the face that launched a thousand skanks."
Oooh, on that topic. This chick got in my car the other day, a friend of my roommate, and I had a CD going. It was a mix of some Bay Area hip hop, not really mainstream stuff, so Im sure most people aren't down with it. Anyways, Im giving her (and others) a ride, and I get out to pump gas (which I am paying for), and I get back in the car, and the freaking radio is playing! Man, that is crossin some serious lines. I had to check her, "Don't EVER touch my radio. Ever." I mean, that is some bold shit. Who are you to get a ride from me, and go around turning off my music. Just ask, "Can we listen to something else?" I mean, the answer is No, but at least ask. Only my wife can pull that crap, and she has enough respect to not even bother most of the time. I about lost my mind....
Great lyric from Del the Funky Homosapian, just heard it: "Rap is not about poppin caps and fukin bitches/ it's about ingenuity and flowing fluidly" Remember that people. And stop calling the crap you here on the radio RAP, it's freaking POP. Well, most of it. Memo to Ja Rule - you are my balls.
The Apprentice: Awww yeah, the weekly Apprentice report. I can't say enough about this show. Not sure if I mentioned it, but I figured out why I like it so much. It is the first reality show where the contestants are intelligent (well, almost all of em). I can't stand to watch 30 minutes of idiots. Why would I want to immerse myself in a world where I would walk out of the room if I was there for real? Doesn't make any sense. Dear Real World people - I hate you. You provide the universe with ZERO VALUE. I will get to that show in a minute. As for the Apprentice. Great episode last night. They had to redevelop apartments, and rent them out, all in 72 hours. Amazing that both got the turn around done. One chick got a contractor to come in and remake the entire place for 1500 bucks. That was unbelievable. But there was one broad, oh man, this Omarosa chick. Stuck up bitch is what she is. A little piece of plaster hit her in the head, and she complained about a headache for 4 days, and didnt work at all. I wanted to reach in the TV and choke her out. Meanwhile, everyone just went about repainting and cleaning the apartment while she sat on her ass. Put me on that show, the ratings would skyrocket. I'd be like, "Bitch! Get off the fukin radiator and paint, or clean up, or do somethin!" I wanted to reach in the TV and choke her ass out.
Real World San Diego: Lets make this short and bitter. I live in San Diego, and I visit the same establishments as these half-wits. In two years in this fine city, I must say, I have gotten absolutely shit-housed a few times. Much worse than these Emmy Award winners. And I have never, EVER, had a run in with the police. Never. I haven't spoken to one (knock on wood...hard), nor have they spoken to me. I don't consider myself lucky, just respectful. These idiots manage to go to a total chill joint, and of the three that actually got inside (the others lost their fake IDs. By the way, I watched a couple episodes, and the same people lost like 3 IDs a piece. Where are they getting these IDs? If they are borrowing them, than half the city is driving without a license. Is MTV prinitng these bogus docs for em? I wouldnt be surprised), anyways, of the three that got in, two managed to get arrested. Dude, you have got to be a moron to scream like a drunk idiot on the street right in front of the cops. Seriously, no matter how drunk you get, have a modicum of common sense.
Cartman. Homer Simpson. Stewie from Family Guy. Funniest? Stewie in a landslid. I will not argue about this. Go out, get the DVDs, or watch every night at 11 on Toon Network. Family Guy makes The Simpsons look like an episode of Crossfire. It is maybe, 1000 times funnier. Again, I will not argue about this.
Movie Review: Runaway Jury
Good movie. Had a great twist at the end. But, to anyone with even a fleeting knowledge of the legal system, it can be a little hard to swallow. Not exactly Law and Order. Melodramatic, cynical, and downright insulting to those of us with more than a working knowledge of the court systems. However, if you can divorce yourself from the legal portion of the film, and concentrate on the adjacent story, you will be somewhat surprised. Cusak is excellent. Hackman, well, he's Hackman. Rachel Weisz is hot, as always. And Hoffman? Lets just say, I dont get Hoffman. What is the big deal with that guy? They put him next to Hackman, and he looked like as good an actor as Dice Clay. Hackman buried him. Then again, Hackman buries everyone.
Ever go into a room in your house, and you have no idea what you are doing there? You turn into CSI, analyzing every object in the room. Hmm, my keys are here, was I getting those? Nooo, hmm, that magazine, yes, yes? No, I read that. Make a sandwich? Naw, not hungry. Damnit, why am I here? Eventually, you realize you're in the bathroom and just needed to take a leak.
Or how about, you are upstairs, and you go all the way downstairs, you do like 10 things, go all the way back upstairs, get comfortable, and then look around, and realize....you didnt do what you went down there to do! Then you gotta go all the way back down. What a bitch....
I drink alot of soda.
News Check: Lets see, Ralph Nader is going to announce his decision on accepting the independant nomination. Ok, why bother? Why don't I hold a press conference too, to let everyone know my intentions. Seriously, I'm going to get as many votes as Nader if he runs. Come to think of it, I think I'll vote for myself, then I will actually get more votes. I bet he would love that. Hmm, odd, people are fighting this gay marriage legalization. Why? Does it really bother you that much? I just don't understand why people need to shove their beaks into other people's business. Damn, don't agree with it, who gives a shit what you think you right wing, uptight, no life, hating bastards. It's not your life, and it surely isnt your place to tell others what to do. Damn, are people so tired of their own meaningless lives that they feel the need to control others? I think I just answered my own question. And finally, here is some real news. I can't even comment on it, it's too great!
They say that (who says? who is they? they is them! those people who say things!), they say that if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. If that's the case, I have been workin double time for quite a while. Can I apply for social security now? And if you love what you do, and never work, why the hell should you get a pension? Or SS, or vacation time. Bitch, you aint workin! You are one of the lucky ones. Be happy you get paid to be happy.
Ugh, I could go on for days. Ill rap this up. Future topics: Red carpet shows, Dave Chapelle, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, "bad weather", and pre-written freestlyes. Join us tomorrow, for another exciting episode of, I Hate Everyone! Excel and enjoy my peoples.....
-Anonymous
I don't even know where to start today. Lots of stuff on my mind. I understand that readership is growing, so lets set some rules: (1) Don't email me whining that I wrote something you disagree with or that offended you. That is the point. To offend. I don't need emails from dumb people complaining that I put them in a pad light. They're dumb people, it is my job to point out their deficiencies. (2) That's it, no other rules. Who am I kidding? There are like 4 people reading this, and that counts me. Ok 5, if you count the FBI agent who is likely tracking me...
Let me give props. First and foremost to Due Now Music. Check out the website. You can listen to the songs and they are excellent. Sort of a mix between eminem and Sublime. Dude will probably hate that explanation, but it's the closest I could think of. Truth is, it's a very original style, and deserves your attention.
Some other slept on music: Dan Darrah, Seven Day Run, Mitch Budd Band
Just makes you realize, there is alot, and I mean ALOT of talented people out there. Meanwhile, I am subjected to all this pop crap all day long. I just turn off the radio. FM gets ZERO airplay in my ride. People get in, ask to hear Ninety-whatever-point-crap, and Im like, hellllllllls no! I need another lame-lyric hip hop jam fused with substandard R&B vocals like I need another hole in the head (currently 7 and counting). Parents, stop giving allowances! It's your idiot kids who are buying all this crap and imposing it's mediocre will on the masses. Only you can stop Britney and her legion of made-for-TV garbage. "Let's give Christina and Britney thanks/ the face that launched a thousand skanks."
Oooh, on that topic. This chick got in my car the other day, a friend of my roommate, and I had a CD going. It was a mix of some Bay Area hip hop, not really mainstream stuff, so Im sure most people aren't down with it. Anyways, Im giving her (and others) a ride, and I get out to pump gas (which I am paying for), and I get back in the car, and the freaking radio is playing! Man, that is crossin some serious lines. I had to check her, "Don't EVER touch my radio. Ever." I mean, that is some bold shit. Who are you to get a ride from me, and go around turning off my music. Just ask, "Can we listen to something else?" I mean, the answer is No, but at least ask. Only my wife can pull that crap, and she has enough respect to not even bother most of the time. I about lost my mind....
Great lyric from Del the Funky Homosapian, just heard it: "Rap is not about poppin caps and fukin bitches/ it's about ingenuity and flowing fluidly" Remember that people. And stop calling the crap you here on the radio RAP, it's freaking POP. Well, most of it. Memo to Ja Rule - you are my balls.
The Apprentice: Awww yeah, the weekly Apprentice report. I can't say enough about this show. Not sure if I mentioned it, but I figured out why I like it so much. It is the first reality show where the contestants are intelligent (well, almost all of em). I can't stand to watch 30 minutes of idiots. Why would I want to immerse myself in a world where I would walk out of the room if I was there for real? Doesn't make any sense. Dear Real World people - I hate you. You provide the universe with ZERO VALUE. I will get to that show in a minute. As for the Apprentice. Great episode last night. They had to redevelop apartments, and rent them out, all in 72 hours. Amazing that both got the turn around done. One chick got a contractor to come in and remake the entire place for 1500 bucks. That was unbelievable. But there was one broad, oh man, this Omarosa chick. Stuck up bitch is what she is. A little piece of plaster hit her in the head, and she complained about a headache for 4 days, and didnt work at all. I wanted to reach in the TV and choke her out. Meanwhile, everyone just went about repainting and cleaning the apartment while she sat on her ass. Put me on that show, the ratings would skyrocket. I'd be like, "Bitch! Get off the fukin radiator and paint, or clean up, or do somethin!" I wanted to reach in the TV and choke her ass out.
Real World San Diego: Lets make this short and bitter. I live in San Diego, and I visit the same establishments as these half-wits. In two years in this fine city, I must say, I have gotten absolutely shit-housed a few times. Much worse than these Emmy Award winners. And I have never, EVER, had a run in with the police. Never. I haven't spoken to one (knock on wood...hard), nor have they spoken to me. I don't consider myself lucky, just respectful. These idiots manage to go to a total chill joint, and of the three that actually got inside (the others lost their fake IDs. By the way, I watched a couple episodes, and the same people lost like 3 IDs a piece. Where are they getting these IDs? If they are borrowing them, than half the city is driving without a license. Is MTV prinitng these bogus docs for em? I wouldnt be surprised), anyways, of the three that got in, two managed to get arrested. Dude, you have got to be a moron to scream like a drunk idiot on the street right in front of the cops. Seriously, no matter how drunk you get, have a modicum of common sense.
Cartman. Homer Simpson. Stewie from Family Guy. Funniest? Stewie in a landslid. I will not argue about this. Go out, get the DVDs, or watch every night at 11 on Toon Network. Family Guy makes The Simpsons look like an episode of Crossfire. It is maybe, 1000 times funnier. Again, I will not argue about this.
Movie Review: Runaway Jury
Good movie. Had a great twist at the end. But, to anyone with even a fleeting knowledge of the legal system, it can be a little hard to swallow. Not exactly Law and Order. Melodramatic, cynical, and downright insulting to those of us with more than a working knowledge of the court systems. However, if you can divorce yourself from the legal portion of the film, and concentrate on the adjacent story, you will be somewhat surprised. Cusak is excellent. Hackman, well, he's Hackman. Rachel Weisz is hot, as always. And Hoffman? Lets just say, I dont get Hoffman. What is the big deal with that guy? They put him next to Hackman, and he looked like as good an actor as Dice Clay. Hackman buried him. Then again, Hackman buries everyone.
Ever go into a room in your house, and you have no idea what you are doing there? You turn into CSI, analyzing every object in the room. Hmm, my keys are here, was I getting those? Nooo, hmm, that magazine, yes, yes? No, I read that. Make a sandwich? Naw, not hungry. Damnit, why am I here? Eventually, you realize you're in the bathroom and just needed to take a leak.
Or how about, you are upstairs, and you go all the way downstairs, you do like 10 things, go all the way back upstairs, get comfortable, and then look around, and realize....you didnt do what you went down there to do! Then you gotta go all the way back down. What a bitch....
I drink alot of soda.
News Check: Lets see, Ralph Nader is going to announce his decision on accepting the independant nomination. Ok, why bother? Why don't I hold a press conference too, to let everyone know my intentions. Seriously, I'm going to get as many votes as Nader if he runs. Come to think of it, I think I'll vote for myself, then I will actually get more votes. I bet he would love that. Hmm, odd, people are fighting this gay marriage legalization. Why? Does it really bother you that much? I just don't understand why people need to shove their beaks into other people's business. Damn, don't agree with it, who gives a shit what you think you right wing, uptight, no life, hating bastards. It's not your life, and it surely isnt your place to tell others what to do. Damn, are people so tired of their own meaningless lives that they feel the need to control others? I think I just answered my own question. And finally, here is some real news. I can't even comment on it, it's too great!
They say that (who says? who is they? they is them! those people who say things!), they say that if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. If that's the case, I have been workin double time for quite a while. Can I apply for social security now? And if you love what you do, and never work, why the hell should you get a pension? Or SS, or vacation time. Bitch, you aint workin! You are one of the lucky ones. Be happy you get paid to be happy.
Ugh, I could go on for days. Ill rap this up. Future topics: Red carpet shows, Dave Chapelle, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, "bad weather", and pre-written freestlyes. Join us tomorrow, for another exciting episode of, I Hate Everyone! Excel and enjoy my peoples.....
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