"It's 108 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
-Elwood Blues
It seems odd to me that just 50 years ago, this entire world was a different place. I look at TV, and the stuff you can see in commercials alone (nevermind the shows themselves) would make Heidi Fleiss blush. Just a few years ago, people were banning books like Catcher in the Rye just because it had some bad words. Meanwhile, it's one of the most important novels on youthful angst ever written. Some people are upset that the restrictions on decency have been loosened, but I say good. If it means that we also expose more people to more things of art and beauty, then that is a good thing. For every over the top expression (Janet?) there are a thousand books, paintings, songs that no one would ever know about if we didnt have a more open society. Like Homer Simpson says, "You don't like it? Move to Russia."
Racism. I havent taken the time to really talk about it, but Im feeling it a little today. May basic premise is that we as a society are doing DAMN good. Relatively speaking, white people are quickly becoming the minority. My understanding is that withing 25 years, 40% of the population will be hispanic. New-New Mexico, I suppose. Then again, with Bush's new immigration plan, we could hit that number by August. Anyways, the key issue is black/white relations. When you consider that white American oppression of black people lasted for almost 400 years. When you consider that slavery was abolished in 1862 with the Emancipation Proclamation. When you consider that the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1968. It really make me think that we have come a long way as a community. Yes, I know, there is still a great deal of prejudice and backward thinking. But most of it is the residue of a forgotten time. New generations are more and more at ease with each other, and every new generation carries less and less hate and prejudice with it. Jesse, and Louis, and the rest can complain till they are blue in the face, and I just won't hear it. To say that this is a racist society is ludacris. Look how far we have come in just 36 years. The growth of our country as a people has been exponential. I say kudos to America, let's keep progressing.
Read this book. It's great. You can probably even get it at the library. Dude is hilarious. It makes a great gift for dads, who can really relate to the guy.
Ok, I have GOT to talk about Tyson, even for a minute. Here is a man who has made well over 200 million dollars in his lifetime, now stating for the record that his total net worth is 174 K in property, 6 K in cash, and over a million dollars in debt!! What?!? I know, that seems amazing. But two numbers in his reported financials are the most mind boggling. First, that his total expenditures for December of 2003 were 85 dollars. 85 dollars?? My phone bill costs more than that. The assumption here is that Mike saved alot on groceries that month by eatin Lennox Lewis' children. And my favorite stat of ALL TIME, I kid you not: In November of 2003, Mike Tyson officially earned $5.63. Are you freaking kidding me? This guy's royalties from god knows how many licensed products have to equal more than that. What did he do to earn that? Mow someone's lawn? Wash cars door to door? Sell some old Earth Wind and Fire CDs to the local used dealer? Maybe he was working at Mickey D's, and got fired after only an hour of work. The theories (and jokes) are limitless.
Strip clubs can be cool, but in super small doses, and with the right attitude. There is always that one guy that you go with, and he's always thinkin the dancers are in love with him. They are like, "This dancer is really diggin me, she's really into me." It's like, are you crazy? "No, no, she keeps coming over, and dancin for me..." Dude, that's her job! These guys you must avoid like the plague. But they always end up at some bachelor party that you were invited to, but didnt organize, so you have no control over it. And it's always a family member of the bachelor, who had to be invited, or else Aunt Emma would be all upset because little Ricky got left out. And the guy ends up puking at the craps table and getting everyone kicked out of the Ghost Bar 5 minutes after we all threw in 20 beans to bribe the bouncer. He is also the guy who brings the camera. If there are any serial killers out there, stop picking on hookers. Start killing annoying people like this guy. Or the guy that says on a 120 degree day, "Hot enough for ya?" No, I like my blood to actually boil under my skin. And while you are at it, kill the parking attendant guy, who rolls around in a golf cart, giving people tickets for parking too close to a fire lane in front of a dirt lot. And anyone who puts one of those 'My child was a student of the month" bumper stickers on their car. Hopefully Ill have a kid one day, and my bumper sticker will say "My child doesnt need his parents to live vicariously through his minor scholastic achievements to validate his life"
The safety talk. I could go on for hours about the airline safety talk. But two things bother me the most. First, don't tell me how to put on my seat belt, and then how to take it off. Somehow, I solved that mind bender. Oh, release the buckle? See, I was attempting to just tear the fabric. At least preface the talk with, "Ok, we will now demonstrate how to work the seat belt for those people who are either brain dead, or who haven't been in a car since 1952." And my favorite, "In the unlikely case of a water landing, your seat coushin may be used as a floatation device." Ok, first, water landing? Crash, that's what it is, just say it. If we plunge into the Atlantic at 400 miles per hour. Ok, if we crash into the ocean, my seat coushin won't be a floatation device....it'll be a toilet, cause Im crappin my pants at that point! Second, it's veerrrrryyyy reassuring to know that I'll be staking my survival in a roaring ocean to 4 square feet of fabric, foam and beer farts. Next time, I'll take the train, thank you very little.
-Elwood Blues
It seems odd to me that just 50 years ago, this entire world was a different place. I look at TV, and the stuff you can see in commercials alone (nevermind the shows themselves) would make Heidi Fleiss blush. Just a few years ago, people were banning books like Catcher in the Rye just because it had some bad words. Meanwhile, it's one of the most important novels on youthful angst ever written. Some people are upset that the restrictions on decency have been loosened, but I say good. If it means that we also expose more people to more things of art and beauty, then that is a good thing. For every over the top expression (Janet?) there are a thousand books, paintings, songs that no one would ever know about if we didnt have a more open society. Like Homer Simpson says, "You don't like it? Move to Russia."
Racism. I havent taken the time to really talk about it, but Im feeling it a little today. May basic premise is that we as a society are doing DAMN good. Relatively speaking, white people are quickly becoming the minority. My understanding is that withing 25 years, 40% of the population will be hispanic. New-New Mexico, I suppose. Then again, with Bush's new immigration plan, we could hit that number by August. Anyways, the key issue is black/white relations. When you consider that white American oppression of black people lasted for almost 400 years. When you consider that slavery was abolished in 1862 with the Emancipation Proclamation. When you consider that the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1968. It really make me think that we have come a long way as a community. Yes, I know, there is still a great deal of prejudice and backward thinking. But most of it is the residue of a forgotten time. New generations are more and more at ease with each other, and every new generation carries less and less hate and prejudice with it. Jesse, and Louis, and the rest can complain till they are blue in the face, and I just won't hear it. To say that this is a racist society is ludacris. Look how far we have come in just 36 years. The growth of our country as a people has been exponential. I say kudos to America, let's keep progressing.
Read this book. It's great. You can probably even get it at the library. Dude is hilarious. It makes a great gift for dads, who can really relate to the guy.
Ok, I have GOT to talk about Tyson, even for a minute. Here is a man who has made well over 200 million dollars in his lifetime, now stating for the record that his total net worth is 174 K in property, 6 K in cash, and over a million dollars in debt!! What?!? I know, that seems amazing. But two numbers in his reported financials are the most mind boggling. First, that his total expenditures for December of 2003 were 85 dollars. 85 dollars?? My phone bill costs more than that. The assumption here is that Mike saved alot on groceries that month by eatin Lennox Lewis' children. And my favorite stat of ALL TIME, I kid you not: In November of 2003, Mike Tyson officially earned $5.63. Are you freaking kidding me? This guy's royalties from god knows how many licensed products have to equal more than that. What did he do to earn that? Mow someone's lawn? Wash cars door to door? Sell some old Earth Wind and Fire CDs to the local used dealer? Maybe he was working at Mickey D's, and got fired after only an hour of work. The theories (and jokes) are limitless.
Strip clubs can be cool, but in super small doses, and with the right attitude. There is always that one guy that you go with, and he's always thinkin the dancers are in love with him. They are like, "This dancer is really diggin me, she's really into me." It's like, are you crazy? "No, no, she keeps coming over, and dancin for me..." Dude, that's her job! These guys you must avoid like the plague. But they always end up at some bachelor party that you were invited to, but didnt organize, so you have no control over it. And it's always a family member of the bachelor, who had to be invited, or else Aunt Emma would be all upset because little Ricky got left out. And the guy ends up puking at the craps table and getting everyone kicked out of the Ghost Bar 5 minutes after we all threw in 20 beans to bribe the bouncer. He is also the guy who brings the camera. If there are any serial killers out there, stop picking on hookers. Start killing annoying people like this guy. Or the guy that says on a 120 degree day, "Hot enough for ya?" No, I like my blood to actually boil under my skin. And while you are at it, kill the parking attendant guy, who rolls around in a golf cart, giving people tickets for parking too close to a fire lane in front of a dirt lot. And anyone who puts one of those 'My child was a student of the month" bumper stickers on their car. Hopefully Ill have a kid one day, and my bumper sticker will say "My child doesnt need his parents to live vicariously through his minor scholastic achievements to validate his life"
The safety talk. I could go on for hours about the airline safety talk. But two things bother me the most. First, don't tell me how to put on my seat belt, and then how to take it off. Somehow, I solved that mind bender. Oh, release the buckle? See, I was attempting to just tear the fabric. At least preface the talk with, "Ok, we will now demonstrate how to work the seat belt for those people who are either brain dead, or who haven't been in a car since 1952." And my favorite, "In the unlikely case of a water landing, your seat coushin may be used as a floatation device." Ok, first, water landing? Crash, that's what it is, just say it. If we plunge into the Atlantic at 400 miles per hour. Ok, if we crash into the ocean, my seat coushin won't be a floatation device....it'll be a toilet, cause Im crappin my pants at that point! Second, it's veerrrrryyyy reassuring to know that I'll be staking my survival in a roaring ocean to 4 square feet of fabric, foam and beer farts. Next time, I'll take the train, thank you very little.
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