"Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?"
"I don't know......I don't have any."
"No children?"
"No elephant books."
-Fletch
Pound for pound, the funniest movie out there. I will NOT argue about this.
Ok, someone explain these Democratic candidates to me. Do any of these guys actually think they can win? They are going against G Dubya, and not one of them has a child's chance at church to win this thing. Seriously, this lineup that they are trotting out is the most inept group of men this side of Average Joe. These guys are like the Washington Generals of politics. Kerry, looks like a sea monkey with a wig. Dean is the emotional equivalent of Mr Toads Wild ride, bouncing off walls high some sort of amalgum of Sanka and bumper sticker glue. The rest, I couldnt recognize if they walked down the street naked with their hair on fair, their name spelled out in rhinestones across their forehead. Then I see this clown Gephard, crying after being eliminated. Dude, you lost on the first day! Did you really think you had a chance? This is like Coppin State having an emotional breakdown after losing by 50 to Duke in the Tournament. Seriously, I thought this guy dropped out of the race a month ago. This guy got as many votes as I did, and Im not even running.
Ok, why do we need to give a standing ovation to everything Bush says during the State of the Union address? "Terrorism is bad!" Standing O. "America is good!" Standing O. "Goony goo goo, flim flam flum!" Standing O. Politics has become such a joke, I am so cynical about the whole thing now. Seriously, the only good thing about having a President at all is the amount of material it provides comedians. Between Clinton and Dubya, comics are making a killing, because the material writes itself. Seriously, Monica Lewinsky pretty much paid for Jay Leno's house with her little stunt.
Forget the election. This is the Age of Reality. I say, take all of these candidates, including the incumbent, and we put em in a house, and vote em off one by one. Winner gets to be the most powerful person in the free world. Can't you imagine it already? Al Sharpton, the militant minority, constantly taking offense to everything his housemates say. John Kerry, the clean cut kid from a small town, who gets alcohol poisoning the first night, and passes out in the spa. Howard Dean, the wild kid, who everyone just starts to hate, cause he won't shut up, and he is always eating Al Sharpton's peanut butter! Gephard can stay, because we need the overemotional drama queen who bawls every time people start arguing in the house. And finally, G Dubya. The dumb guy. Heart of gold, but totally inept. Always says the wrong thing. Doesn't pull his weight around the house, always leaving his dishes in the sink. You can see him accidently walking in on Hilary Clinton in the shower. Im telling you, this is a freaking gold mine.
Speaking of reality shows, let me just say, I love the first few episodes of American Idol. The Germans have a word (my spelling will be wrong here), Schadenfreud, and it means to relish in the misfortune of others. That is what American Idol is to me. I watch these myopians, totally convinced that they will be superstars, making complete asses of themselves. Then, they get the truth, and they are shocked. Someone, please tell me, how do they get that far? They have been practicing the same song for months, asking opinions, Im sure. Someone usually goes with them, and supports them. But some are so bad, how could anyone support them. Im sorry, even if its your own kid, and you love them to death, if they stink....they stink! You would rather they embarass themselves? It just baffles me, utterly baffles me.
I don't mean to frighten anyone, but click on this link for some major news. And be sure to lock your doors tonight....
"Like Cypress Hill I'll make you insane/ I'll shoot you in the toe, make you jump like the House of Pain"
"I don't know......I don't have any."
"No children?"
"No elephant books."
-Fletch
Pound for pound, the funniest movie out there. I will NOT argue about this.
Ok, someone explain these Democratic candidates to me. Do any of these guys actually think they can win? They are going against G Dubya, and not one of them has a child's chance at church to win this thing. Seriously, this lineup that they are trotting out is the most inept group of men this side of Average Joe. These guys are like the Washington Generals of politics. Kerry, looks like a sea monkey with a wig. Dean is the emotional equivalent of Mr Toads Wild ride, bouncing off walls high some sort of amalgum of Sanka and bumper sticker glue. The rest, I couldnt recognize if they walked down the street naked with their hair on fair, their name spelled out in rhinestones across their forehead. Then I see this clown Gephard, crying after being eliminated. Dude, you lost on the first day! Did you really think you had a chance? This is like Coppin State having an emotional breakdown after losing by 50 to Duke in the Tournament. Seriously, I thought this guy dropped out of the race a month ago. This guy got as many votes as I did, and Im not even running.
Ok, why do we need to give a standing ovation to everything Bush says during the State of the Union address? "Terrorism is bad!" Standing O. "America is good!" Standing O. "Goony goo goo, flim flam flum!" Standing O. Politics has become such a joke, I am so cynical about the whole thing now. Seriously, the only good thing about having a President at all is the amount of material it provides comedians. Between Clinton and Dubya, comics are making a killing, because the material writes itself. Seriously, Monica Lewinsky pretty much paid for Jay Leno's house with her little stunt.
Forget the election. This is the Age of Reality. I say, take all of these candidates, including the incumbent, and we put em in a house, and vote em off one by one. Winner gets to be the most powerful person in the free world. Can't you imagine it already? Al Sharpton, the militant minority, constantly taking offense to everything his housemates say. John Kerry, the clean cut kid from a small town, who gets alcohol poisoning the first night, and passes out in the spa. Howard Dean, the wild kid, who everyone just starts to hate, cause he won't shut up, and he is always eating Al Sharpton's peanut butter! Gephard can stay, because we need the overemotional drama queen who bawls every time people start arguing in the house. And finally, G Dubya. The dumb guy. Heart of gold, but totally inept. Always says the wrong thing. Doesn't pull his weight around the house, always leaving his dishes in the sink. You can see him accidently walking in on Hilary Clinton in the shower. Im telling you, this is a freaking gold mine.
Speaking of reality shows, let me just say, I love the first few episodes of American Idol. The Germans have a word (my spelling will be wrong here), Schadenfreud, and it means to relish in the misfortune of others. That is what American Idol is to me. I watch these myopians, totally convinced that they will be superstars, making complete asses of themselves. Then, they get the truth, and they are shocked. Someone, please tell me, how do they get that far? They have been practicing the same song for months, asking opinions, Im sure. Someone usually goes with them, and supports them. But some are so bad, how could anyone support them. Im sorry, even if its your own kid, and you love them to death, if they stink....they stink! You would rather they embarass themselves? It just baffles me, utterly baffles me.
I don't mean to frighten anyone, but click on this link for some major news. And be sure to lock your doors tonight....
"Like Cypress Hill I'll make you insane/ I'll shoot you in the toe, make you jump like the House of Pain"
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