Was that you?
"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
I always crack my windows open, and I always leave them open over night. What the hell is wrong with me?
Today's driving adventure included an encounter with a lady too busy to drive because she was busy stuffing a chocolate donut in her face. I saw her, and a donut is the last thing she needed. Another lady decided that she needed to adjust her rear view so it actually pointed directly at her. Never mind that its there for safety, not for applying three layers of base. She was standing on the brake, swerving. I was like dear god. When she pulled out the tub of mascara and the putty knife, I knew I had to pass her. Again, saw this driver, and well, not much could be done anyways.
My mind is always going off on a tangent, you know, the whole train of thought? But kids, they have some sort of verbal tangent dont they? There are no segues (sp?) in their conversations. It's like, "Uncle TJ, I painted a picture at school." "Oh, wow, what was it of?" "I have a thousand pennies!!" uhhhhhhh.......
Is that your face, or did your neck throw up?
I am so impatient. Is that a product of the culture, or is it a personal thing? I actually watch the microwave thinking, come on, lets go! I actually wear my hair short because I dont want to wait for it to grow out. Ill never know what I look like with longer hair, because Ill never make it that long. And I started wearing a goatee because it cuts time off my shaving. Just want to get it over with, you know? I wonder how many people have an attribute that is based solely on convenience. Peter Jackson comes to mind. I mean, here is a guy that didnt even get his tux pressed for the Oscars. That is one lazy bastard.
You know, if the government ever wanted to crack down on Office Pools, it would be so easy. Just look for anybody coming into the bank and cashing 50 checks for 10 dollars each. Piece of cake. I think next year, when I start the Pond back up, Ill insist on cash. Just to be safe. See, who says the Sopranos cant be educational.
I hate feet. They are so ugly. I just cant even look at em. I dont understand this feet fetish thing. I have the opposite. Get those nasty dogs away from me.
Is Hollywood just out of ideas? It's one thing to turn every TV show into a movie, but now we need to remake movies from like 20 years ago? Movies that peole still watch and enjoy? It just doesnt make any sense. Its one thing to update Oceans Eleven or The Italian Job, movies that could really use an update. But now they are bringing back movies it seems like we just saw. And every TV show needs to be a movie? I dont get why I Dream of Jeanie needs to be a movie. SWAT, Scooby Doo, Starsky and Hutch, Charlies Angels. Just make the Diff'rent Strokes movie, and dont forget the scene where Arnold and Dudley are molested by Gordon Jump. Still the greatest TV episode of all time. By the way, Im hearing rumors of a Sex and the City movie? This sounds like a baaaaaaaad idea.
Speaking of derivative works, I just want Jimmy Fallon to know that I love his bits. Oh yeah, his material is great. I especially loved it the first time I saw it, when it was done by Adam Sandler! Dude, get your own gig. We've seen all that crap. Is anyone even original anymore? Damn, I even catch myself writing stuff I heard somewhere else. Its like the entire world is out of ideas. Can we just exile P Diddy to Alaska, and get back to original works? While we are at it, can we start indicting Hollywood execs like we indict CEOs? Shouldnt it be criminal to make Wild Wild West? How do these people get away with it? If you are gonna green light crap, then damnit, you need to be held accountable. Seriously, if it wasnt for independant film makers, we'd never watch movies again.
And back to SNL. Dude, enough with the token black guys. Couldn't Tim Meadows have just stayed there forever? At least he was funny. I think he realized that he was the token black guy, and said, screw this, I got better things to do. Cause it wasnt like his movie career was blowing up. Now we got retreads from Nickelodeon? These guys appear on the show like 3 minutes per show, to play Al Sharpton or Mushmouth from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. What happened to the Chris Rocks? The Eddie Murphys? Is EVERY black comic on BET and Def Jam? Can we get someone in primetime please? And I dont mean DL Hughley....
I always crack my windows open, and I always leave them open over night. What the hell is wrong with me?
Today's driving adventure included an encounter with a lady too busy to drive because she was busy stuffing a chocolate donut in her face. I saw her, and a donut is the last thing she needed. Another lady decided that she needed to adjust her rear view so it actually pointed directly at her. Never mind that its there for safety, not for applying three layers of base. She was standing on the brake, swerving. I was like dear god. When she pulled out the tub of mascara and the putty knife, I knew I had to pass her. Again, saw this driver, and well, not much could be done anyways.
My mind is always going off on a tangent, you know, the whole train of thought? But kids, they have some sort of verbal tangent dont they? There are no segues (sp?) in their conversations. It's like, "Uncle TJ, I painted a picture at school." "Oh, wow, what was it of?" "I have a thousand pennies!!" uhhhhhhh.......
Is that your face, or did your neck throw up?
I am so impatient. Is that a product of the culture, or is it a personal thing? I actually watch the microwave thinking, come on, lets go! I actually wear my hair short because I dont want to wait for it to grow out. Ill never know what I look like with longer hair, because Ill never make it that long. And I started wearing a goatee because it cuts time off my shaving. Just want to get it over with, you know? I wonder how many people have an attribute that is based solely on convenience. Peter Jackson comes to mind. I mean, here is a guy that didnt even get his tux pressed for the Oscars. That is one lazy bastard.
You know, if the government ever wanted to crack down on Office Pools, it would be so easy. Just look for anybody coming into the bank and cashing 50 checks for 10 dollars each. Piece of cake. I think next year, when I start the Pond back up, Ill insist on cash. Just to be safe. See, who says the Sopranos cant be educational.
I hate feet. They are so ugly. I just cant even look at em. I dont understand this feet fetish thing. I have the opposite. Get those nasty dogs away from me.
Is Hollywood just out of ideas? It's one thing to turn every TV show into a movie, but now we need to remake movies from like 20 years ago? Movies that peole still watch and enjoy? It just doesnt make any sense. Its one thing to update Oceans Eleven or The Italian Job, movies that could really use an update. But now they are bringing back movies it seems like we just saw. And every TV show needs to be a movie? I dont get why I Dream of Jeanie needs to be a movie. SWAT, Scooby Doo, Starsky and Hutch, Charlies Angels. Just make the Diff'rent Strokes movie, and dont forget the scene where Arnold and Dudley are molested by Gordon Jump. Still the greatest TV episode of all time. By the way, Im hearing rumors of a Sex and the City movie? This sounds like a baaaaaaaad idea.
Speaking of derivative works, I just want Jimmy Fallon to know that I love his bits. Oh yeah, his material is great. I especially loved it the first time I saw it, when it was done by Adam Sandler! Dude, get your own gig. We've seen all that crap. Is anyone even original anymore? Damn, I even catch myself writing stuff I heard somewhere else. Its like the entire world is out of ideas. Can we just exile P Diddy to Alaska, and get back to original works? While we are at it, can we start indicting Hollywood execs like we indict CEOs? Shouldnt it be criminal to make Wild Wild West? How do these people get away with it? If you are gonna green light crap, then damnit, you need to be held accountable. Seriously, if it wasnt for independant film makers, we'd never watch movies again.
And back to SNL. Dude, enough with the token black guys. Couldn't Tim Meadows have just stayed there forever? At least he was funny. I think he realized that he was the token black guy, and said, screw this, I got better things to do. Cause it wasnt like his movie career was blowing up. Now we got retreads from Nickelodeon? These guys appear on the show like 3 minutes per show, to play Al Sharpton or Mushmouth from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. What happened to the Chris Rocks? The Eddie Murphys? Is EVERY black comic on BET and Def Jam? Can we get someone in primetime please? And I dont mean DL Hughley....
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