"The musty stench. The mopes sitting around the tables. I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea."
-Rounders
I don't even know where to begin. It's been a while since I have blogged, hasn't it? Not like me at all! Riiiiight. Anyways, I have a million things on my mind, but can't remember what they are...so lets see....
Want an Oscar? Play a mentally retarded person in a movie. Instant Oscar. You actually get nominated the day the film starts shooting. It's like having an EZ Pass to the ceremony. Gilbert Grape, Rain Man, Other Sister, I Am Sam....it's so formulaic. Almost seems to be insulting, doesnt it?
Speaking of insulting, man, this steroid thing kills me. A guy goes from 185 lbs, to 240, starts hitting opposite field, 450 foot bombs off the end of a broken bat, and when someone asks, um, are you on roids? dude freaks out! That is bogus, Ill get tested yesterday! How dare you? Um, well dude, you went from 10 homeruns, to 147 in one season. Just a question, you know? I mean, do these guys think we are morons? I mean, do I look that stupid? And now, the feds have official statements that some guys got steroids delivered to them, and those guys are STILL denying it! Ok, does it say idiot on my forehead? Do I look like Boo Boo the Fool? Dude, just admit it, say I needed an edge, they werent testing, whatever. But quit, and be like, look, I quit, it was wrong, whatever. Then go out, and put up numbers. Of course, if you go back to sucking, well, so be it. And lets get the asterisks out please. If Barry is on the juice, that 73 needs to come down. Im sorry, it just does. I love the guy, he is a great hitter, but that is crap. So lets get full fledged testing going. Not this current BS plan where its like, uh, we test 100 bench guys, and if 99 are using we set up a watch dog plan, and then we test again, and if you get caught, we wave our finger and say tsk tsk. Its like, baseball has this real strict 487 strikes and we start to get real angry! I'll tell you who to put in charge...the IRS. Man, those cats will climb in your ass for the smallest discrepency. They know everything. You could find 5 dollars on the ground, then buy a magazine, and they'll come to your house like, You didnt report that!!!
Plain and simple: people who you let cut in front of you that dont wave should be rammed from behind. I should get free range to run that person off the road. Im waiting in traffic for 10 minutes, and this jack off with a pony tail in a yellow Miata pulls right in front of me, wedges his way in, and no wave. At that point, I should be free to shoot out his tires without any legal repercussions. I feel very strongly about this.
Um, what happened to Limp Bizkit? They were on fire for a while there, and now, can't find em with a search party. Did Fred Durst hire Eric Estrada's agent?
I like this show Dream Jobs on ESPN, but there is something so inherently wrong about it. It is basically 12 people from a huge pool fighting it out, Survivor style, for a job with ESPN as a SportsCenter host. Its a good idea, and makes for decent TV, but it is so damn insulting to the guys that have been busting their ass to get to where they are. We are talking about guys that went to school, interned, did the crap jobs, read the sports in such major metro areas a Sioux Falls and Boise. Then, they get to ESPN and keep working. Meanwhile, one of these yahoos gets this great job just for beating out a bunch of other scrubs. I gotta be honest, not a single one of these finalists is qualified. Some of them, well.....they just plain STINK. It just goes to show that reality tv is at the point where the entertainment value of the show trumps the legitimacy of the job they are fighting for. I love The Apprentice, but, do I think any of those people could run a major Trump comany? No. Is it fair to the VPs in the company that some jerkoff is gonna be their boss just because they can run a flea market and sell lemonade? No. That is totally ridiculous. It would have made more sense if Trump had the show and made it a contest amongst people already on his payroll, fighting for a promotion to President of one of his companies. It would just be more legitimate.
Time to get a little serious, get some things off of my chest. It is no secret that my personal life is a bit of a wreck. I used to really scoff at the idea that peoples' emotions run in phases or stages, but I am finding that it is a totally legitimate idea. When my wife first told me she was not sure she wanted to be with me, well, I was shocked. I went into total denial. How could this be, it doesnt make any sense, Im the victim. Then I realized that, well, I did have my faults, and I could see that she was upset. So, I got depressed. Sad, all the time. Soon, I moved into anger. Absolutely furious that someone I love so much, and had given so much of my heart could treat me like this. Now, well, I am sliding into apathy. And not just about my relationship, but about life. I can see acceptance on the horizon. Not that I will ever accept losing her, I will always fight for our love. But acceptance that, things aren't perfect, and I must play a waiting game. So, lately I have just been a zombie. Absolutely going through the motions, struggling to enjoy even the slightest thing. I know it will pass, but it makes life very difficult in the meantime. What strikes me as odd, is, she wants us to concentrate on finding ourselves, as indidviduals, before we can work together as a couple. She tells me to focus on school, and getting the best grades I can. Meanwhile, she wants me to (a) work full time and pay my own bills, and (b) not communicate with her. Anyone who could pull good grades in Law school, one of the hardest graduate programs devised, while working 35-40 hours a week with no emotional support from their spouse, raise your hand. Uh huh, that's what I thought. No one. I really am at a loss for my next move, you know? I dont agree with her request, but I must respect it, else run the risk of losing her because I couldnt be supportive of her wishes. What a conundrum (sp). I suppose a hand written letter is the safest way to communicate without putting her to task. The phone and email are so immediate, they can really put a person on the spot. I dont want to do that. I know she is struggling, well, at least I hope so. I guess part of me worries that she is really enjoying her "freedom." Well, if that be the case, what can I do? Im just tired of waiting around to see what she is gonna do. While I am planning my life around her, she could be planning a life without me. Which means I am going to have to reschedule my entire life if she decides to leave. I dont think that is fair. I already gave up one career option because she asked me to, so if she leaves me, that means I won't have that option anymore. Again, not fair. Dont you think she owes it to me to at least try and communicate? I don't know. The woman didnt even talk to me on our anniversary. I think that is pretty messed up.....
Ok, better topic. Um....um.....
My friend is pure blood Italian. Everything in his house is Italian. Everything he does is Italian. The guy is guido #1. So, everytime I go to visit, this fool makes burritos. What the hell is that all about?
Today's Legal Lesson: HEARSAY
You always here lay people talk about hearsay. Well, hearsay is a specific evidentiary rule that is exclusive to trials. The official definition of hearsay is "Out of court statements which are offered in court to prove the truth of the matter asserted." Essentially, when person A tells person B that something happened out of court, B can not testify in court that A told them. A says, "Bill killed Jack.", B may not testify that Bill killed Jack just because A told them. The testimony must relate directly to first hand knowledge by the witness. In this case, A is the 'declarant'. In addition, non-verbal actions may qualify for the hearsay rule. If A makes an action for the purpose of relaying some assertion as to their thoughts, B can not testify as to that action. So if C says something, and A rolls their eyes, to indicate that they don't believe C, B can not testify that A rolled their eyes. Counsel must put A on the stand to testify that they rolled their eyes. Although there was no verbal communication, it will still invoke the hearsay rule. The rule gets more complicated, but I will leave it at that....
Ok, its been like 5 days, so I better crank out The Apprentice Report: Well, it was a great episode, as usual. This past week, they had to sell cases of bottled water called Trump Ice. The name alone is pure comedy. Im not gonna get into too many details. Essentially, there were two key moments. First, everyone's favorite, Omorosa, goes into these sales pitches with this other chick, I think, Amy is her name. Well, Amy says, look, you pitch the idea, Ill talk finances, Im the money person. Omorosa of course says, sure, that is a great idea. Well, they go in, begin the pitch, and right before Amy can say a word, Omorosa is like, so would you be willing to try a case? A case??!?!? It's 8 bucks a case, and Trump wants them to sell pallets of this stuff (72 cases per). So they leave, and Amy is like, ok, let me do that, dont do that. Omorosa says, oh, ok. Well, it happens like 3 more times! Man, I would have choked that bitch out! I couldn't possibly hate anyone more than her. And finally, Nick and Bill go into a night club, and Nick starts with this big sales pitch about the taste of the water, and how great it is, and you are buying quality and all this crap. The owner looks at him, and say, "Dude, this is a night club, and that's water. This aint rocket science. Let me see the numbers." Bill gives him a price breakout, and dude orders two pallets. If Im Trump, I fire everyone and hire the nightclub owner, on the spot. Not kidding at all.
Just for the record, I knew our boy Boston Brian had zero chance of winning on Average Joe. I was so adament about it, although everyone was pulling for Brian. In the end, the better looking guy won. And what happened? Dude dumber Larissa when he found out she dated Fabio. Are you serious? Man, you talk about karma being a bitch. Well, there's your proof. Sorry Brian, but that girl was not for you...even if she was "wicked hot!"
Sunday Night, 9 Eastern. The Sopranos returns! Set your clocks, do whatever. Just don't miss it. Don't miss it!
What is the deal with keying somebody's car? People are such pussies these days. How many times do people leave anonymous letters, or key someone's car, or whatever, because they want to get a message across? Excuse me, but there is no message unless someone knows why you did something. Whatever happened to the days when you stood in someone's face and told them what you think? People these days are such wimps. If you have an opinion, state it! All we do in this country is dance around everything, and refuse to take responsibility for anything. Im telling you, real men are far and few between. We are all so concerend about each other's feelings, that we aren't taking care of ourselves. It's a real load of crap! No offense, but I am number one in my book. I look out for me. If I can look out for you without sacraficing my state of mind, I will, every time. But if it's between me and you, you can bet it'll be me. That's not selfish, that's the law of nature. Survival of the fittest, sucker.
Finally, let me just state a fact: aggressive drivers aren't the problem, it's the cautious drivers. Seriously. When I make an aggressive move, I am doing it to stay out of the way of others. Have you ever been driving down a street, and there is a car about 2 blocks in front of you about to turn into your direction (make a right), and they arent going, so you figure, ok, this guy is overly cautious, and he watches you coming, and coming, and coming, and THEN he pulls out? And you have to hit the brakes? What the hell are you doing? You should have pulled out like a minute ago, but you wait till the last minute? Their brains just dont function fast enough. By the time they realize they can make it, they can't make it. And anyone who drives below the speed limit? Are you sightseeing? First time in the city? Take a bus! Hire a guide! Don't do 20 mph in front of me. There is a skinny pedal on the right...step on it! Cops should be pulling these people over, not the people going 8 mph over the limit, cause they aren't causing any accidents.
Ok, more to come....
-Rounders
I don't even know where to begin. It's been a while since I have blogged, hasn't it? Not like me at all! Riiiiight. Anyways, I have a million things on my mind, but can't remember what they are...so lets see....
Want an Oscar? Play a mentally retarded person in a movie. Instant Oscar. You actually get nominated the day the film starts shooting. It's like having an EZ Pass to the ceremony. Gilbert Grape, Rain Man, Other Sister, I Am Sam....it's so formulaic. Almost seems to be insulting, doesnt it?
Speaking of insulting, man, this steroid thing kills me. A guy goes from 185 lbs, to 240, starts hitting opposite field, 450 foot bombs off the end of a broken bat, and when someone asks, um, are you on roids? dude freaks out! That is bogus, Ill get tested yesterday! How dare you? Um, well dude, you went from 10 homeruns, to 147 in one season. Just a question, you know? I mean, do these guys think we are morons? I mean, do I look that stupid? And now, the feds have official statements that some guys got steroids delivered to them, and those guys are STILL denying it! Ok, does it say idiot on my forehead? Do I look like Boo Boo the Fool? Dude, just admit it, say I needed an edge, they werent testing, whatever. But quit, and be like, look, I quit, it was wrong, whatever. Then go out, and put up numbers. Of course, if you go back to sucking, well, so be it. And lets get the asterisks out please. If Barry is on the juice, that 73 needs to come down. Im sorry, it just does. I love the guy, he is a great hitter, but that is crap. So lets get full fledged testing going. Not this current BS plan where its like, uh, we test 100 bench guys, and if 99 are using we set up a watch dog plan, and then we test again, and if you get caught, we wave our finger and say tsk tsk. Its like, baseball has this real strict 487 strikes and we start to get real angry! I'll tell you who to put in charge...the IRS. Man, those cats will climb in your ass for the smallest discrepency. They know everything. You could find 5 dollars on the ground, then buy a magazine, and they'll come to your house like, You didnt report that!!!
Plain and simple: people who you let cut in front of you that dont wave should be rammed from behind. I should get free range to run that person off the road. Im waiting in traffic for 10 minutes, and this jack off with a pony tail in a yellow Miata pulls right in front of me, wedges his way in, and no wave. At that point, I should be free to shoot out his tires without any legal repercussions. I feel very strongly about this.
Um, what happened to Limp Bizkit? They were on fire for a while there, and now, can't find em with a search party. Did Fred Durst hire Eric Estrada's agent?
I like this show Dream Jobs on ESPN, but there is something so inherently wrong about it. It is basically 12 people from a huge pool fighting it out, Survivor style, for a job with ESPN as a SportsCenter host. Its a good idea, and makes for decent TV, but it is so damn insulting to the guys that have been busting their ass to get to where they are. We are talking about guys that went to school, interned, did the crap jobs, read the sports in such major metro areas a Sioux Falls and Boise. Then, they get to ESPN and keep working. Meanwhile, one of these yahoos gets this great job just for beating out a bunch of other scrubs. I gotta be honest, not a single one of these finalists is qualified. Some of them, well.....they just plain STINK. It just goes to show that reality tv is at the point where the entertainment value of the show trumps the legitimacy of the job they are fighting for. I love The Apprentice, but, do I think any of those people could run a major Trump comany? No. Is it fair to the VPs in the company that some jerkoff is gonna be their boss just because they can run a flea market and sell lemonade? No. That is totally ridiculous. It would have made more sense if Trump had the show and made it a contest amongst people already on his payroll, fighting for a promotion to President of one of his companies. It would just be more legitimate.
Time to get a little serious, get some things off of my chest. It is no secret that my personal life is a bit of a wreck. I used to really scoff at the idea that peoples' emotions run in phases or stages, but I am finding that it is a totally legitimate idea. When my wife first told me she was not sure she wanted to be with me, well, I was shocked. I went into total denial. How could this be, it doesnt make any sense, Im the victim. Then I realized that, well, I did have my faults, and I could see that she was upset. So, I got depressed. Sad, all the time. Soon, I moved into anger. Absolutely furious that someone I love so much, and had given so much of my heart could treat me like this. Now, well, I am sliding into apathy. And not just about my relationship, but about life. I can see acceptance on the horizon. Not that I will ever accept losing her, I will always fight for our love. But acceptance that, things aren't perfect, and I must play a waiting game. So, lately I have just been a zombie. Absolutely going through the motions, struggling to enjoy even the slightest thing. I know it will pass, but it makes life very difficult in the meantime. What strikes me as odd, is, she wants us to concentrate on finding ourselves, as indidviduals, before we can work together as a couple. She tells me to focus on school, and getting the best grades I can. Meanwhile, she wants me to (a) work full time and pay my own bills, and (b) not communicate with her. Anyone who could pull good grades in Law school, one of the hardest graduate programs devised, while working 35-40 hours a week with no emotional support from their spouse, raise your hand. Uh huh, that's what I thought. No one. I really am at a loss for my next move, you know? I dont agree with her request, but I must respect it, else run the risk of losing her because I couldnt be supportive of her wishes. What a conundrum (sp). I suppose a hand written letter is the safest way to communicate without putting her to task. The phone and email are so immediate, they can really put a person on the spot. I dont want to do that. I know she is struggling, well, at least I hope so. I guess part of me worries that she is really enjoying her "freedom." Well, if that be the case, what can I do? Im just tired of waiting around to see what she is gonna do. While I am planning my life around her, she could be planning a life without me. Which means I am going to have to reschedule my entire life if she decides to leave. I dont think that is fair. I already gave up one career option because she asked me to, so if she leaves me, that means I won't have that option anymore. Again, not fair. Dont you think she owes it to me to at least try and communicate? I don't know. The woman didnt even talk to me on our anniversary. I think that is pretty messed up.....
Ok, better topic. Um....um.....
My friend is pure blood Italian. Everything in his house is Italian. Everything he does is Italian. The guy is guido #1. So, everytime I go to visit, this fool makes burritos. What the hell is that all about?
Today's Legal Lesson: HEARSAY
You always here lay people talk about hearsay. Well, hearsay is a specific evidentiary rule that is exclusive to trials. The official definition of hearsay is "Out of court statements which are offered in court to prove the truth of the matter asserted." Essentially, when person A tells person B that something happened out of court, B can not testify in court that A told them. A says, "Bill killed Jack.", B may not testify that Bill killed Jack just because A told them. The testimony must relate directly to first hand knowledge by the witness. In this case, A is the 'declarant'. In addition, non-verbal actions may qualify for the hearsay rule. If A makes an action for the purpose of relaying some assertion as to their thoughts, B can not testify as to that action. So if C says something, and A rolls their eyes, to indicate that they don't believe C, B can not testify that A rolled their eyes. Counsel must put A on the stand to testify that they rolled their eyes. Although there was no verbal communication, it will still invoke the hearsay rule. The rule gets more complicated, but I will leave it at that....
Ok, its been like 5 days, so I better crank out The Apprentice Report: Well, it was a great episode, as usual. This past week, they had to sell cases of bottled water called Trump Ice. The name alone is pure comedy. Im not gonna get into too many details. Essentially, there were two key moments. First, everyone's favorite, Omorosa, goes into these sales pitches with this other chick, I think, Amy is her name. Well, Amy says, look, you pitch the idea, Ill talk finances, Im the money person. Omorosa of course says, sure, that is a great idea. Well, they go in, begin the pitch, and right before Amy can say a word, Omorosa is like, so would you be willing to try a case? A case??!?!? It's 8 bucks a case, and Trump wants them to sell pallets of this stuff (72 cases per). So they leave, and Amy is like, ok, let me do that, dont do that. Omorosa says, oh, ok. Well, it happens like 3 more times! Man, I would have choked that bitch out! I couldn't possibly hate anyone more than her. And finally, Nick and Bill go into a night club, and Nick starts with this big sales pitch about the taste of the water, and how great it is, and you are buying quality and all this crap. The owner looks at him, and say, "Dude, this is a night club, and that's water. This aint rocket science. Let me see the numbers." Bill gives him a price breakout, and dude orders two pallets. If Im Trump, I fire everyone and hire the nightclub owner, on the spot. Not kidding at all.
Just for the record, I knew our boy Boston Brian had zero chance of winning on Average Joe. I was so adament about it, although everyone was pulling for Brian. In the end, the better looking guy won. And what happened? Dude dumber Larissa when he found out she dated Fabio. Are you serious? Man, you talk about karma being a bitch. Well, there's your proof. Sorry Brian, but that girl was not for you...even if she was "wicked hot!"
Sunday Night, 9 Eastern. The Sopranos returns! Set your clocks, do whatever. Just don't miss it. Don't miss it!
What is the deal with keying somebody's car? People are such pussies these days. How many times do people leave anonymous letters, or key someone's car, or whatever, because they want to get a message across? Excuse me, but there is no message unless someone knows why you did something. Whatever happened to the days when you stood in someone's face and told them what you think? People these days are such wimps. If you have an opinion, state it! All we do in this country is dance around everything, and refuse to take responsibility for anything. Im telling you, real men are far and few between. We are all so concerend about each other's feelings, that we aren't taking care of ourselves. It's a real load of crap! No offense, but I am number one in my book. I look out for me. If I can look out for you without sacraficing my state of mind, I will, every time. But if it's between me and you, you can bet it'll be me. That's not selfish, that's the law of nature. Survival of the fittest, sucker.
Finally, let me just state a fact: aggressive drivers aren't the problem, it's the cautious drivers. Seriously. When I make an aggressive move, I am doing it to stay out of the way of others. Have you ever been driving down a street, and there is a car about 2 blocks in front of you about to turn into your direction (make a right), and they arent going, so you figure, ok, this guy is overly cautious, and he watches you coming, and coming, and coming, and THEN he pulls out? And you have to hit the brakes? What the hell are you doing? You should have pulled out like a minute ago, but you wait till the last minute? Their brains just dont function fast enough. By the time they realize they can make it, they can't make it. And anyone who drives below the speed limit? Are you sightseeing? First time in the city? Take a bus! Hire a guide! Don't do 20 mph in front of me. There is a skinny pedal on the right...step on it! Cops should be pulling these people over, not the people going 8 mph over the limit, cause they aren't causing any accidents.
Ok, more to come....
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