Monday, April 26, 2004

A Case of the Mondays

"Its 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
-Elwood Blues

What is it about the East Coast sports fan that makes them so damn angry? Honestly, I can't relate. I am a West Coast fan, and well, nothing gets so damn serious out here, plain and simple. You look at Southern Californians, and they can sit in two hours of traffic to go 3 miles, so you know they know patience. It is safe to assume that a 5 game losing streak by the Dodgers won't exactly create a riot. Hell, they have no football team, and I am sure only 1 in 5 residents of the greater LA area even know who the Kings are. Meanwhile, you go up to the Bay Area, where we are a little more uptight. But up there, only Raider fans really give a damn, and that is more a byproduct of them being angry with life in general. But even Raider fans won't boo the home team, however, they have been known to be guilty of attempted murder on fans of other teams. But that's part of their charm! As for Niner fans, well, if you really want to get them riled, serve a Cabernet with fish.....woo hoo! The sparks will fly! Back to the point, these East Coast sports fans. They boo everything! In New York, they booed their favorite player, the most beloved Yankee of them all, Derek Jeter! Then you see these Philly fans, where they will boo a 7 year old for dropping a foul ball. These people booed Santa Claus for crying out loud. Why are they all so bitter out there? You'd think these people had nothing else going on in their life. I like sports, but not so much I want to abuse somebody as badly as I can.....

Ever see The Blues Brothers? They spend the whole movie abusing this old police car they bought at an auction. Finally, they get to the final scene, they get out of the car, run 5 feet, and the entire car falls apart. Literally, every piece falls off into a heap of junk. That's my body right there. Pushing 30, years and years of sports and abuse....and now, it's just falling apart. I have had injuries, and sprains, and all of that. One back surgery, and a couple broken legs. But nothing habitual. Now, I sit here....broken, thumb, sprained knee, and back spasms. All at the same time. What the hell happened to me? By the end of the year, parts will just start falling off. The odds of me being a parapalegic by the end of December are so good they are off the board.

Weird dynamic in my life. It's been like this for a while. For some reason, my sports skills don't carry over. Over the summer, I can hit, my arm is in great shape, I am just mentally focused on baseball. But the minute basketball season starts, I can't hit anymore. I get a sore shoulder or elbow, its like I can't play anymore. But during the summer, my basketball skills suck, and they dont come back until the fall. It's the weirdest thing. Just last weekend, after playing very good basketball for months, and suffering from a sore elbow, I went out, and my arm felt great, I was throwing bullets. But I sucked on the basketball court the same weekend. Why can't I do both? I think it is a focus thing....

Movie Review: OUT OF TIME
Starring Denzel Washington and Eva Mendes, this is, well, a mediocre movie. Obviously, any movie with Denzel is going to be watchable, and Eva Mendes, well, she is inherently watchable no matter what she is doing. Id watch her in a musical version of Ishtar. The movie tries to be a thriller, with twists and turns. It has a couple, but in the end, the suprises are obvious, and the underlying plot his full of more holes than a whiffle ball. Is it a decent rental? I suppose. If the better films are off the shelf, give it a shot. Try not to expect too much, and you should be ok.
3/5 Stars.

Movie Review: 21 GRAMS
Yes, I have either been very busy watching movies, or it has been a long time since I did a movie review. A little of both, I would imagine. For all of Out of Time's mediocrity, 21 Grams did not fail to disappoint. The title refers to the fact (supposedly) that your body loses exactly 21 grams of weight the minute you die. (roughly the weight of 10 nickels) The question is what that 21 grams makes up, with many speculating that it is the your body losing its soul. This film takes the route of indy shocker Requiem For a Dream, taking raw emotions and harsh realities, using them as a device to tell a story about three lives and their collision. Benicio Del Toro and Naomi Watts are exceptional. Their struggle in dealing with their inner demons and their inability to make something out of the second chances they get is incredibly compelling. The story behind Del Toro's character, an ex-convict who commits to religion, only to feel betrayed is incredibly believable and amazingly real. Sean Penn was highly lauded for his performance here, but I must confess, I was not completely sold. Perhaps it was the immense flaws in his character that hid his work. His obsession with Watts, not to mention his refusal to quit smoking after his heart transplant......I felt like he was the focal point of this film, but in the end, I found him to be the most reprehensible of the three. I lacked any compassion for him at all, and I am not sure that was the desired emotion the filmmakers were looking for. Then again, maybe it was. This is a movie about second chances, but not about making the most of them, but rather, about people's inability to succeed when given that second chance. There is a hidden lesson here that not everyone makes the most of life. Sometimes, you just can't get on track. Rent this movie, but wait fo the right time to watch it. It demands your undivided attention, and will wear you down emotionally. An excellent film. 4.5/5 stars.

Do you notice that companies have finally stopped kidding themselves? I was watching the Comedy Central celebration for being 13 years on the air. The host, Adam Corolla, commented that Comedy Central had created a niche, catering to the needs of that all important demographic of 18-34 year old....stoners. It was a joke, but was it really that far off? Meanwhile, McDonalds initially tried to advertise to that incredibly valuable demographic of multi-racial basketball teams who play on roller blades. They have switched over, and are now advertising their breakfast menu to those people who are just getting home from a night out at sunrise. Doesn't this just strike people as fascinating? Their ads are basically saying, "When you are out getting drunk until 6 in the morning, and you need something greasy to soak up the alcohol before you go to bed until 8 pm, stop at Mickey D's for food!" Why don't they just come out and say that they are the low cost alternative to Denny's? It is just amazing that these companies are embracing what they really are? I mean, if Dennys doesnt think it is simply a last stop on a night of partying, they are kidding themselves. And 7-11, stop telling us you are a great place for hot dogs and sodas.....all you are is the last chance to get a case of Miller before 2 am. Just have a commercial, "On a last minute beer run? Get down to 7-11." I mean, don't they sell rolling papers at 7-11? What are those for? Are people rolling their own cigarettes still? Is this the wild west or something? Come on, lets all just be honest, huh? Its like Chris Rock was saying, why are ATMs available for 24 hours? Have you ever pulled out 300 bucks at 3 am for something positive? Let's all just be honest with ourselves.......

As far as commercials go, what is the deal with the casting of these things? I have alot of friends of different ethnicities, but it's always mixed differently. For some reason, every group of friends on TV is one black guy, one white guy, a mexican guy, and asian. And somehow, they all have the same things in common. This country is full of idiots, but those of us with money who are going to buy your products....we aren't stupid. Don't lie to us, and we will respect you. But they keep giving us these lame, unbelievable commercials that just insult us. Oh yeah, that looks just like my life! Wow, a bar full of nothing but hot chicks, I see that all the time! Just be honest with me. Buy our slacks, they fit well, and arent too expensive. Drink our beer, it tastes good, and itsnt too expensive. Drink our soda, it tastes good, and you like sugar. Eat at our restaurant, its good, and not too expensive. That is ALL we care about. Dont try and convince me that every time I go to Applebees the place is hopping like a Britney concert. Im smarter than that. Nobody does three cartwheels over steak fajitas.

This is going to sound wrong, but if you think about, aren't I right? Alot of people say we need to recognize military personnel because they allow us to live free. I agree, I love the military, and a great deal of my family has served. I may yet serve after law school. However, is the military really in Iraq to preserve our freedom? Look, WW I and WW II were about controlling situations that literally threatened the peace of the world. But was Iraq on their way over here to take over the US? Were we all in danger of being jailed or enslaved by the making Iraqi army? Unless Fallujah was paddling over here on their rafts with bags of rocks to take over the US, I dont see what the threat was. It's not freedom that is being protected, but more like life. Ensuring that we aren't attacked and killed in great numbers like 9/11. It just seems so easy for people to say "preserve our freedom", but our freedom is preserved on a DAILY basis, but the judicial system of the US. Our government's dedication to following the principals of the Constituion is so amazing. The fact that one document, basically saying, we all have equal rights to pursue happiness, controls our way of life.....that is just wild. History is littered with power hungry men who have conned their way into positions to control the lives of others, enhancing their egos by stripping freedom from others. To be able to say that has not happened in this country is amazing. Im rambling....

The History Channel is doing a show where they investigate historical ambiguities, in some sort of detective show format. Is this really a pressing need? Are there honestly people on the edge of their seat for the True Hollywood Story: Napolean? Short French dude. Is there really anything else we need to know? Abe Lincoln - on the penny, ended slavery. Ok, that's about it, right? Im not sure I need a team of historians pouring over the personal journal of the guy who mowed the White House lawn to see if there is any mention of Lincoln ever showing an allergic reaction to dairy. I just don't care....

You've gotta respect these people from crappy little countries who are so patriotic. It is so easy to be from the US and to break out into the U! S! A! chant. We kick ass at everything. We are a bunch of front runners. Our country is a dynasty. We are the Yankees of the world. But you see these people, just super patriotic, "Yes! Panama is number 1! Pa-na-ma! Pa-na-ma!" You have to have some serious heart to root for your crappy little country.

Let me close with something that is bothering the hell out of me. When did we run out of ideas? How old is society? Couple thousand years? The US is what, almost 250. I just read that they will be remaking the movie Back to School. Remember that one? 1986, starring Rodney Dangerfield. OK, I realize that is almost 20 years ago, but still, how many of us know that one pretty damn well? It's still fresh in the mind. It is the equivalent of remaking The Breakfast Club, or Vacation or Weird Science. Would anyone dare to do that? It's bad enough we have musicians (I use the term lightly) already taking beats from songs that are barely a year old, and singing over them with new lyrics, but the movie business is getting ridiculous. Between the remakes and the TV show adaptations, I am wondering if anyone has a creative thought in the whole city of Los Angeles. And what kills me is, the most popular movies, the ones that get so much love from the critics and movie-goers, are these independant films, which are actually creative and new. You would think these major studios would make the cheaper films, and realize a smaller profit. No, that's not good enough. Better to do a Fat Albert movie, tie it in with a Happy Meal and action figures, and hope for 5 sequels. Pathetic....

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