Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Changing Spaces

I have moved! That's right, I am out of beautiful downtown Grapevine, and now in the heart of BIG D! Right off of the 35E, I now stay on the 7th floor of the Sheraton Suites. The room is a little old school, but I have HBO and a much, MUCH better bed. The best thing is that it is more of a hotel. It doesn't have the amenities that the extended stay Homewood Suites offered, but I realized that is a good thing. I was getting settled in back in Grapevine, to my detriment. I want to feel like I am here temporarily, and the hotel atmosphere helps with that. Not to mention, it makes work easier, because every day I am reminded why I am here. Finally, it is more social. There are more people here, mingling about. It isnt the same dreadful conventioneers milling around. I will keep you all posted on the new developments, but the best thing has been getting back to the part of the city that makes me feel comfortable. I am right near the "young professionals" part of town, where the nice restaurants are, the fun bars, things of that nature. Its just a nicer neighborhood, and I feel more at home. Turns out, I am also very near where I lived last time I was here. I even saw a deli/grocery store that we used to shop at when we lived here, and I just loved it back then! It was great to see something so familiar. Anyways, things are good on this front, so think good thoughts. No more free wireless however, so I can't guarentee the blog will be updated as often as I like, but bear with me kids....

Im watching Spike Lee's Katrina documentary right now (part II of II). It's excellent, and I learn something more every day. You never really know how bad things have been until you watch something like this. I actually got a little teary when they interviewed the woman whose 5 year old daughter was found floating in flood waters. Those kinds of things are real, and Im glad this is on, because when I talk to these victims, it is so important that I sympathize with them, because what they have been going through is no joke. I spoke with one lady, Sharone, today, and she told me all about it. I felt like I was listening to a documentary, and I am a better person for it. I just know that I work as hard as I can when I am in there, because these people deserve my respect.

Here's a good story:

The First Baptist Church dismissed Mary Lambert on August 9 with a letter explaining that the church had adopted an interpretation that prohibits women from teaching men. She had taught there for 54 years.

The letter quoted the first epistle to Timothy: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."

That's what I love about the bible, every single thing written in it has equal weight. The first epistle to Timothy carries the same weight as the ten commandments, which came right from God. It's literally as if you were able to overrule the Supreme Court with the minutes from the Lemont, IL city council meeting.

It is absolutely amazing to me that Air America broadcasts out here. Dallas is a pretty cosmopolitan town, but these surrounding areas are, well.....less than progressive? But everymorning and every evening, I listen to Bush-bashing radio on my commute (much to the delight of my car partner, Im sure....). Regardless, the point of this discussion was the commercial for The Forward, a Jewish-news periodical. Of course it is a good idea for there to be magazines and newspapers that cater to all groups, to insure that they are getting the information that pertains to them. But the ad was simply a series of questions that reading their newspaper would answer. "Will fighting escalate in Israel?" (Yes) "Will the US become entangled in the fighting?" (Of course) "How will it all end?" (Badly) "Is anti-semitism growing in Europe?" (Duh) There. Instead of paying for a subscription, I just gave you all the news you need, and you can fit it on a post-it note with room to spare. Enjoy.

I read two death certificates today, and I found two incredibly strange entries to the DC. First, they list your education, as in, how much education did you have. Which means, if you couldn’t finish high school, but you kept it a secret, in death, they blab it out to the world. Even odder is that they type out your job. Your job! What a statement on our society that in death, they take the time to include amongst your most vital statistics (DOB, height, weight, DOD) your education and your job. Is the death certificate really a resume for God? Can you not get into heaven without proper education and experience? "I see her you led a good life, but do you know Word and Excel?" Maybe there are no pearly gates, maybe its a mahogany desk, and St Peter looks over your death certificate, "Mmm hmm. Mmmm hmm. Look, this war down there in the Middle East is causing a backlog up here....do you speak Farsi? I see here you died in a machine accident. Was that at work? Yes? So you didn't leave there on very good terms, I imagine....."

I used to think that profiling would totally work, but would it really? What do you need to get through, the security check point? Think about it. If you can manage to create an undetectable explosive or weapon, and you can dismantle it into unrecognizable components, then you should be able to get it as far as the gate, where there is no secondary checkpoint. The problem is that there is a misunderstanding that the only real threats are people of Middle Eastern descent, Muslims, etc. What people fail to realize is that the only color that matters is green. I know that is a cliché, but there are enough white people on this planet that would be more than happy to transport a weapon component through security. Even the most devious, diabolical, mercenary-type can be cleaned up to look like any other businessman. Get 5 guys like that and one Muslim extremist. With profiling, the Muslim will be stopped, while your 5 mules trek through undetected. Once at the gate, the 6 meet in the rest room, and pass all of the items to the practitioner, in this case, an extremist who isn’t afraid to die. The other 5 board 5 other flights, while the terrorist travels onto his own plane with this new device. The bottom line is that you can always find someone to do the most evil thing imaginable, and they always have a price that can be met. They can get us if they want, that’s just a fact that we have to deal with. Weather it’s water bottles, or shoe bombs, or incendiary underwear. They will find a way, because they care that much. And for all of the security measures, there is little evidence that those in charge of protecting us care the same amount. So I say, step back, and take a deep knee bend. The odds of being a victim of a terrorist attack are, to be honest, quite remote. For the time being, let’s just take a deep breath and stop feeling like we each have a target on our back. This especially goes to those yahoos in Boise and Cheyenne and Slippery Rock, who support the war because, “We gotta fight em there so they don’t come here!” Look, Jethro. No terrorist in his right mind is coming to your town to visit, much less blow you up. I think you are ok. How about, next time there is a vote on whether or not to go to war against terrorists, we allow only the senators from places that are actual targets. I think it is quite revealing that senators from places like Illinois (Chicago), New York (NYC) and California (SF, LA, SD) would most likely be against this war, even though they have the most to lose. It is quite disheartening that the congressional members from Alaska, Utah and North Dakota get a vote on a matter that does not concern them in the least bit!

Sawx. That’s what they say EVERY time the Boston Red Sox are featured on a highlight. Sawx. I get it, because that’s how people in Boston talk, right? Pahk, my cah…havahd yahd? Genius. No really, keep it up with that incredible wit. It’s why I watch highlights.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Fort Worthless

For a blog that has a 4 person readership, demand is high! So who am I to ignore the masses? Instead of continuing my unintentional sabbatical, I bring you the latest from that bustling metropolis that is Fort Worth. Grapevine techinically. A small town north of Fort Worth and about 15 miles east of Big D, Grapevine gets its name from the 9 wineries that dot its landscape. And really, is there anything that sounds better than North Texas wine? I submit there is not.

The weather has been hot, but you really do get used to it. Then again, not spending alot of time outside is a good way to beat the heat. But even when I go outside, I find it to be a dry heat, the kind where the sweat evaporates before you can really get soaked.

No one in Texas can drive. It is just that simple. It would be ok if the problem were just that they all drove too slow. Couple a 55 mph speed limit in most places with a populace who isn't used to travelling any faster than a bull can pull them, and you get a commute that is reminiscent of the video game Frogger. The real problem is sort of a cause and effect. For some reason, the civil engineers that designed the highway system here in the DFW metroplex were unaware that there are neither lakes nor mountains. It seems that when they drew the plans for each highway, they incorporated a number of S-curves and roundabouts that one would expect to find in Nepal, not America's flatland. So rather than taking a direct route east to west, north to south, the freeway system looks like a web woven by a drunk spider. As a result, it is VERY easy to miss your exit from highway to highway, as it may appear on the left or right side. Couple this unique thoroughfare with a group of people who are still trying to distinguish the brake pedal from the gas pedal, and you get a slow moving caravan of monster trucks and cadillacs travelling across mulitple lanes at a time, with no thought as to how this may effect people in those lanes....namely, ME! If I get cut off one more time, I am going to start taking advantage of Texas laws that allow open containers and concealed weapons. Speaking of which, can I just say real quick, there is a sign on the deli I eat at that prohibits the carrying of concealed weapons inside the restaurant without a permit. Just so we are clear, this means if you HAVE the permit, you CAN carry a gun when purchasing a reuben with a side of pasta salad. God knows, if it's one place you are going to be called on to draw, it's an establishment where everything comes with a pickle on the side.

I am in great shape. I workout every day, I eat right, I stay out of the bars. I am very happy with my health, and I am recommending to everyone that they focus on theirs. Admittedly, with a monotonous job with static hours and a life devoid of human contact, it is very easy for me to discuss the merits of this lifestyle. But there has to be room for exercise and healthy eating in all our lives, so I call on all readers to do 50 crunches tonight and skip dessert. OK, good luck with alllllllllllllllllll that......

Amy is working an IPO, and is spending all her time doing dilligence off-site. Let's just say, the witness protection program couldn't hide someone better than this. If anyone catches a glimpse of her on the freeway, throw her a wave for me. She will be out here next Sat, and the surprises I have in store limit my ability to share with you all my plans. Suffice it to say, good times!

I'm frustrated. My car partner is not interested in working extra hours. I would like to work 12 hours a day, but he is not even in the neighborhood of amenable to it. That means that I have a choice - I can either drive him home and stay home, or drive him home, then drive back to work to get an extra couple of hours in. This would put me in the gym at 10, and eliminate any chance I would have to relax. Its a toss up, so we'll see. The truth is, I have nothing keeping me from working extra, and the money is definitely a good enough incentive for me. I have big plans for that extra money, so I wish he would capitulate, or work something out with me. Im not holding my breath. But I can't help but feel like he is taking money out of my pocket. Am I way off here?

It's 11:30 pm, and it's closing in on bed time. With that, I will close with a bizarre exercise. I have chosen an incredibly annoying song, and I will now break down its lyrics. Look for much more of this, as it is high time bad musicians be held accountable for their awful songs:

I WOULD WALK 500 MILES
The Proclaimers

When I wake up, yeah I know Im gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
(That's nice....)

When I go out yeah I know Im gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
(Ok, kinda suffocating...)

And If I get drunk, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
(So much for girls' night out....jeez, do you have friends?)

And if I haver whatever that means
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
(So basically you have to invent reasons to hang out together. Trust me, this girl needs space. It seems romantic, but she's just sick of you by now.)

But I would walk 500 miles
(Do you realize how far that is?)
And I would walk 500 more
(So you would walk a thousand miles.....why not just say that? And also, do you realize how far THAT is???)
To be the man who walked that thousand miles
To fall down at your door
(For a second, you had her. It seemed so sweet. But it's all about the recognition with you. "I'm not here to see you, I just want to be able to call myself the guy who walked hella far." By the way, of course you fell down, you were drunk and havering.)

When I'm working yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
(Wait, you went to work? But you only go out when she goes out. Do you guys work together?)

And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
(Except for the few pence I set aside for booze and havers.)

When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
(She won't be there. Out with the girls finally!)

And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
("If" you grow old? Um, i think the concept of time comes into play here. By the way, why do people always preface photos with, "this is from when I was younger." ALL photos are of you when you were younger.)

And I would walk 500 miles (Yeah, you said that...)
And I would walk 500 more (Right, thousand miles. Why are you dating a girl who lives 1000 miles away? )
To be the man who walked that thousand miles
To fall down at your door
(You sleep in the same bed, and come home to her after work. Why are you so far away? Buy a plane ticket for crying out loud.)

Surrender (We do.)
Surrender (Oh god do we ever....)

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
(You're 1000 miles away from your girl, of course you are lonely. And how could you POSSIBLY be lonely WITH her? You just aren't making sense at this point.)

When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
I gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you
(That's called a memory, not a dream. A dream would be imagining having a life.)

And if I get drunk, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man that gets drunk next to you
(Drunk again, huh? One of you has a drinking problem.)

And if I haver, whatever the heck that means
I'm gonna be the man who havers next you
(And addicted to havering. Where will it end?)

And I would walk 500 miles (Good god, more long distance walking. What are you, Forrest Gump?)
And I would walk 500 more (That's 1000 miles again. How far across is Scotland anyways? Can you even walk 1000 miles without passing her house three times?)

To be the man who walked that thousand miles
To fall down at your door
(Just thinking of walking 1000 miles makes me tired enough to fall down. And why fall down at the door? You made it all that way, and you can't wait to go 20 more feet to fall on the couch?)

Surrender
Surrender

When I'm lonely, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whos lonely without you
I'm gonna be the man whos coming home
(We've covered all of this.)

cause I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
To be the man who walked that thousand miles
(What job do you have that lets you go walking for 3 weeks? Are you a postman by any chance?)
To fall down at your door

Surrender
Surrender
Surrender. (Done and........done.)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Day ? - Where have I been...

I have been out of commission for a while. Just wasn't in the writing mood. But I realize that the three of you who actually read this drivel are probably wondering how things are going in Fort Worthless. Rather than recap each day, here are some highlights I jotted down over the course of the past week:

-Have you ever seen Boiler Room? There is a scene where the head of the firm says that if the feds come, he can get all of his traders next door and have them trading again in hours. He shows someone a giant warehouse sized room with rows and rows of phones. That's where I work. Long desks, with about 10 phones per row, each with a computer and a chair. No barriers. Just people right next to each other, talking non-stop. But it isn't the talking which disturbs me. There is a woman behind me who has a cough. Not a slight hack, an ongoing phlem cannon. She hacks incessantly, never covering her mouth, all over the files she and her team share. If I was working with her, I would be beside myself......or dead. Im quite certain she has the plague.

-Was really running on fumes there for a second. The first week out here, you are just trying to get acclimated. Everything is new and different, so it keeps you on your toes. The second week is all adrenaline, but sleeping is still difficult. Time difference, hards beds....alone for the first time in over a year. The third week.....that's where you find out what you are made of. I have been doing good so far. Drinking on Sat didn't help, as my Sunday was ruined. But this week has started well, as I am right back on schedule with working out, eating, working.....maybe its the creatine. But Amy hasn't been working as hard, so being able to talk to her has helped alot with the sleeping. Nothing puts me to bed quicker than a quick "I love you" from her.....

-I can't describe the horror that is the call from the borrower. Some are ok, mind you. They want to know what to do, and they are more than happy to do it. They understand the size of our organization, and how difficult it can be to get things done quickly. But most, just want their money. "Where's my money?" That's what they ask. The greatest loan in history, with terms that would make a banker weep uncontrollably.....but they can't wait. I feel their pain, I really do. But I just wish more were cooperative. Then again, to be honest, alot of them are by the end of our phone calls. I imagine it's a matter of who picks up the phone, because I hear alot of exasperated co-workers talking to customers......but the more I think about it, the more I realize their phone skills are below average. We are definitely helping people here, but it has been a year since Katrina....we need to get money out the door. Gave away 57K today. That's not as much as it sounds, but it felt damn good.....

-Had training with a woman who pronounced the word "receipts" as "ree-seeps" and the word "debt" as "deb-tuh". I was flabbergasted. This was "copious" all over again, but about ten times odder. The kicker was she used the word "caveat" three times flawlessly.

-There are a surprising number of asians in the south. Helped a Lam family today, and three days ago it was the Nguyens in Biloxi. I wouldnt have bet a single dime there was a Nguyen in Biloxi.....

-A senior member of our team left on Friday, but not before we all went to lunch on Thursday. I didnt really want to go, but I also didnt want to be the anti-social new guy (even though that is exactly who I am). We went to Luby's Cafeteria. I can't make that up. It literally had the ambiance of a hospital cafeteria, without the cuisine. If it wasn't swimming in butter, it was dripping with grease. People seemed to like the place, but many of them were, well.....not thin. I even tried to eat healthy: green beans, fish, potatoes. I think even the water was cooked in grease. The capper? We took our co-worker there because they serve liver and onions, which she loves. I eat pate and shallots....that's about as close as Im coming to liver and onions.

-A Texan pronounced the word "concierge" as "con-ser-ahj." I had to poke myself in the eyeball just to make the pain of the word go away.

-Since my co-worker left, her space has become the new food area. Another person had a birthday on Friday, so she got food on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday and again today. Its bad enough I have to smell warm ranch dressing for 10 hours. But there is a phenomenon that occurs when you put food out in an office. People become these weird zombies. They approach the food, and crane their neck to see what's available. Eyeing every single morsel, as if they are allowed to be picky over free food. Then they grab the plate, and invariably begin talking to themselves. This is bad enough without me having to be the one sitting next to them. I feel as if I need to respond just so they don't slip into a psychotic episode.

-I am 6'3. When I walk into the rest room with a short man, I find it very, VERY upsetting when he is a step ahead of me and takes the higher urinal. So while he is on his toes, straining to not pee on the floor, I am now performing an act equivalent to using a chamber pot from a third story window. My only revenge, of course, is to finish first, then use the sink fartherst from the paper towels, so that when he approaches, I can reach all the way across, and leave him with no sink for even a brief moment. One inconvenience deservees another.

I miss you all. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read. Its good to know you care enough to see how things are going. And I am glad to have the excuse to get these thoughts out, because they are funny to me. Ill be back on more often. Please feel free to comment often, and forward this link on as you like.....

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Day 7, 8, 9: Catching Up

Lots to catch up on, not a single bit of it interesting. I didn't blog this weekend, I was having a bit of a downer. Emotional crash I suppose. I was running on adrenaline for a week, the newness of being here, the excitement of getting paid....the whole nine yards. Then Sat, I crashed, and came way down off that natural drug. Coupled with 104 degree heat and a sudden realization I wouldn't see my girl's face for at least 3 more weeks, and I just played Fight Night and ordered a pizza. That's all done now, my friends. Back on track. Up at 7, in the office by 8. Lunch at 3:00, brought from home of course. Did some grocery shopping yesterday. I get in 50 free throws in the last bits of sun when I get home at 6:45, then it's an hour in the gym listening to the latest podcast of Stephanopolous, Meet the Press, or Washington Week. Back to the room, I throw on Daniel Powter's "Bad Day", Ace's favorite song, and I exorcise the lonliness by belting it out (to the disdain of my neighbors, Im sure). Into the shower, go I, and I come out clean as a whistle. Immediately, I pop in a West Wing DVD, then open the fridge to load up on whatever protein based food I have stocked the fridge with (along with a couple Soft Batch cookies....am I wrong, or are those things straight from heaven?). In bed by midnight, although asleep by two (working on that....damn you time zones!). Then up and at em, and we do it all again. Look forward to that for the next three months. At least I get Saturdays off. This weekend, I shall be seeing Clerks II, though I will probably go to hell for spending money on it. Problem is, I can't see any of the blockbusters, because Im waiting to see them with Ace! So no X-Men, no Pirates.....hell, no Cars! Maybe I can see Click, but that's not a consolation.....it's probably a punishment. I pause now to shower.....

....done! Feeling squeaky clean, and got some food now. A co-worker from Texas was training me today, and used the word "Clintonesque" to describe something he felt was shady. That bothered me. His boy Bush is the biggest liar of them all, yet this idea that Slick Willie is such a bad guy lives on. I bit my tongue, and Im a better person for it.

I can't even begin to explain how insane Louisiana is. Never mind the backwater, bayou images you get from the media or the movies. It's just like any other place, except for the fact that it might as well be Mars. Weird-ass laws, since they are under something called the Napoleanic Code. Words like "usufruct" (or WTF as I call it) and "paraph". It might as well be Greek. Bond Deeds, Cash Sale Deeds.....I feel like I have to go to Tulane to understand half the things going on there. And that doesn't even count the phone calls from Orleans Parish, half of wish I can't understand. But it all works out in the end. I dealt with a very good guy today in Mississippi, whom I asked for three documents, which he immediately sent. Not a single hitch. When things go like they should, it's a beautiful thing.

So who are the five people I would most like to punch in the face? I've thought long and hard, and I think my list reads like this:

5. K-Fed: Britany Spears' husband, Kevin Federline. For some reason he thinks that (a) he has talent, and that (b) not shaving and wearing a dirty wifebeater is "snappy dressing". I'd like to say that I cant see what Britany sees in him, but we aren't talking about a major sophisticate either. You can take the girl out of the bayou, but you cant take the bayou out of the girl.

4. Whoever is in charge of ESPN: I don't care about TO. Hey ESPN, I don't don't don't care about this man. I don't care about him, I don't care about Barbaro, I don't care about Barry Bonds.....and no one else does. No one, do you hear me. Please, I don't need the Cowboys press conference aired live, I don't need to know how Barbaro is feeling, and I don't need a 24 hour channel following Dwyane Wade. I am so tired of hype, it's ruining the specialness of sports.

3. Pat Robertson: Im not anti-religion, Im just anti-hearing about it. I don't want you on my TV preaching, I dont want to hear you on the radio, I dont want to see you at my door. None of it. You like Jesus, great. Keep it to yourself! The next person who asks me if I have taken Jesus as my savior gets Zidaned. This guy said that Pennsylvania got flooded because they believed in evolution. This is a guy who says 9/11 happened because we are too tolerant of gays. This guy needs a good ass kickin.

2. Bill O'Reilly: You smug bastard. How can a single human being know so little, yet tell so many others how ignorant they are. For some reason, he believes that the smartest guy in the room is he who talks loudest. An absolute drain on the populace, I wouldn't mind rounding up every single person who watches his show regularly, and shipping them to Guam. (So that the whole list isn't Republicans, feel free to add Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh to this spot. They can both die for all I care.)

1. George W. Bush: Come on, this was a no-brainer, wasn't it? I'd love to say that I respect the office of the President so much, that I couldn't possibly talk bad about whoever held it....but when you mistreat the office as he has, you offend me and every other American. After watching his performance on CNN (if you haven't seen it, go there and look for the video where he chats with his mouth open and full of food with Tony Blair while dropping curses on him....it's deporable). In reality, I don't want to punch him so much as I want to disrespect him. I would love to stand face to face with him on national television, have him extend his hand to me, and put my hands in my pockets. I would like nothing more than to tell him to his face that he is a disgrace. Now Rove, him I'd drill in the chin....

Feel free to add to this list any racist, any sexist, men who abuse women, child abusers, and anyone who messes with my girlfriend, my family or my friends. I guess it would be easier to do a list of people I don't want to punch. I need to rethink my life.......

I close with the fact that as I drove to get gas today, I saw a church on the side of the road that had a giant flag flying, easily some 25 by 50 feet (NO LIE), waving in the wind, with the word "JESUS" on it. Nothing else. Nothing says faith in a higher being quite like a giant flag.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Day 6: Assignments

Woo hoo! Going to the business department. I am so happy I could cry. Just more complex transactions, dealing with more money (cap is like 1.5 mill or something on these loans), and getting to talk to business owners rather than home owners. Just more likely they will be a more sophisticated group, and I wont spend the majority of my time walking people through the ins and outs of their loan application. "Ok maam, see where it says name, put your name....no, no, your name, not my name....no not the name of your cat...maam, no maam, I can't make out a check to anyone named Fluffy..." Also got a day shift, so it will make it easier for Ace to come visit, spend Friday night and all day Saturday, and hopefully try and work something out on Sunday. Anyways, Im happy is all. The experience I get will certainly be more applicable to the kind of work I hope to do later on.

Currently on hold with B of A trying to get a damn PIN number for my credit card so I can get some per diem money and maybe go eat or something. Anyways, they told me a minimum of 4 minute wait, its been 10. In this day and age, I might as well have been on hold for a year. I need service NOW. They said I could participate in a survey after this call, and I was all set to skip it, but now? Fugetaboudit, they shall have my input!

Not much else to report today. Woke up at 7:42 after I slept through the alarm (lack of sleep will catch up to you!) and got dressed, cleaned up, and to work (15 minute drive) by 8:02. That's parked and in class by 8:02. Guy had the nerve to suggest I fill out a form saying I was late for that. I say....no. It's the first week, Im still on West Coast time, and it's two freaking minutes. Basically, I didnt do it, and no one said anything. Que sera sera.

101 degrees today, but I swear, doesnt feel a bit over 95. Already shot hoops, worked out, and had a nosh. Trying to get to the shower, but the good people at B of A seem to be having a birthday party over at customer service. If I have to listed to one more version of Time of My Life played on the alto sax with sounds of nature in the background I may commit a homicide. This is unbearable.....I am starting to long for the dulcet tones of the elevator.

Much like Bill Simmons, I am in the market for a Premiership Team. I totally missed the boat on professional soccer growing up, and have become a full fledged fan. I just need a team to root for so that I can get the jersey, and know the names, and be an utter bore at parties. Leaning towards Fulham with my boys, but must research the roster to see if there are any players I simply cannot root for. Looking good so far though....

B of A must die! Going to go soak my head to get rid of the anger......

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Day 5: All's Quiet

I wish I had more to report, but I do not. Very uneventful day today. I would have to say the highlight was when we learned how to figure out what kind of insurance a disaster victim needs and how to calculate how much. The instructor said, ok, let's all do the worksheet I handed out. I proceeded to finish it in about 2 minutes, after which he announced, "Ill give you 35 minutes!" I soon spent the rest of the day knocking out two crosswords and two sudokus, while my sheets made their way around the room. It's nice to know that no matter what, you can always count on people to cheat. Fun times!

Sitting here watching The Longest Yard, the remake with Adam Sandler and other scrubs. Not good. This movie is not good, and I am not good for watching it. Just ate a full meal, and I can't move. What a revolting development.

Nothing to report today. Ive been tired all week, it will be nice to rest this weekend. Until then, it has been status quo the last couple of days. Weather is getting hot (100 degrees) but still not uncomfortable. Went to Popeye's for lunch, which was of course delicious, but the service was a disaster. I would have said something, but there was zero chance of it meaning anything. In that situation, friends, even when it takes 25 minutes to get a chicken strip meal, smile and keep your mouth shut, unless you want beans, rice, and spit. It's just that simple....

I find out my schedule tomorrow, and how to file an expense report. REALLY looking forward to those two developments. Until then friends. I imagine tomorrow will be much more interesting.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Day 4: Reality

Powerful. That's all I can say about the documentary they showed us today about the destruction in Southern Mississippi. Truely eye opening. For all of the CNN coverage and what not that I saw during Katrina, it really didn't hit home like this doc did. Basically a start to finish look at the hurricane from the day it became a tropical storm, to when they realized it was coming through, to when it hit, to the aftermath. Just seeing the progression was amazing, but the destruction was overwhelming. It was really good of them to expose us to the horrors of this tragedy, so that we could really understand the people we would be dealing with. The only regret is that I found it secretly fascinating. Just the sheer magnitude of the storm, it's power, and the destruction. I felt the same during the tsunami and 9/11. Awful tragedies, of course. But there is something just incredible about these immense occurances. I hope that isn't bad.

The rest of the day cruised by. No driving problems, didn't hate anyone today, and the day moved pretty quick for once. Already got my work out out of the way, and looking forward to a piece of salmon I picked up (not at Wal Mart, fear not!).

Anything intersting occur? Nope! But I did finally get some satisfaction. There is a real anomally going on in San Diego, that being that we get a deluge of Sonic commercials (for those not in the know, Sonic is a fast food chain found in the south, but branching out), however, in my four years in San Diego, I have yet to actually see a Sonic! It has become literally the bane of my existence, and I am finally relieved to be surrounded by Sonic on every corner. Im not the fast food type any longer, but I may go to Sonic just to get my comeuppance.

Said "fixin' to" for the first time today, and immediately punched myself in the face.

Finally met someone worth talking to. This guy, same age as me, went to Pepperdine law, lives here locally with his wife. Understands California, but knows the Dallas area, so could become a true ally. Solid guy, and saved me at lunch. Went to Jack in the Crack with Bama Tom ( I got chicken...) and when I suggested we get the food to go, he wanted to stay and eat at there! Im like, come on, lets go eat in the break room (just hoping to get back where I could slink off alone and not be disturbed) but he insisted we eat there. "Come on, the break room?" he exclaimed. "Why, because the posh surroundings of Jack's Bistro are so much better?" Yes, god forbid we go back and eat in the huge break room with fellow workers, when we can sit a table the size of a frisbee and bang elbows while trying to determine whose curly fries are whose. My man Robbie was there, and we began talking. As soon as he headed out, I asked for a ride, and was delivered. I really am a bastard.

Gonna cut it short tonight. Waiting on a call from Ace (woo hoo!) then I have to write an article. Im doing freelance for www.nbadraft.net , so feel free to visit for hoops knowledge from your favorite Cali ex-pat.