Thursday, April 08, 2004

Believe it or not, George isn't at home......

"The DMV is like a Third World nation."
-E Pini

I think I would like my own theme music. Like, everywhere I go, a little background music to define what Im doing, or how Im feeling.

Can we establish some rules for voice mail? First, you aren't DJ Red Alert. You don't have to put on some beats as a lead in to your message, so that I have to sit through the first verse of Yeah before I find out if I dialed the right number. And then, don't voice over the song with that FM DJ, "sultry sounds of the love doctor" voice. Sometimes I hear these voice mail messages, and I start wondering if the call is costing me 1.99 a minute. And you don't need to tell me to leave my name and a message.....somehow, I figured that out. And now the messages that are left. Can we all just set a limit to the message length? Ok, if you are leaving a little comedy routine, and it takes some time, ok, make me laugh. But I dont need your whole life story. As soon as the message goes past 15 seconds, im deleting it. Don't you hate the message that tells you everything the person wanted to talk about, its like 4 minutes long, and then at the end, its like, "Call me back." Why? You just told me everything. Im gonna call you and just sit there rehashing everything you just said.

Freaking allergies. What is the point of allergies? About once a month, or just every now and then, I get em so bad, I cant even function. Eyes water, throat itches, nose stuffed up. It is ridiculous. Then, I have to pop about a handful of Benadryl, and next thing you know, I'm waking up in the year 2052. No rhyme or reason, just absolute hell for one day. Then, next day, as if nothing happened. Thanks genetics! Having a great time!

Want to read garbage? I mean, really want to understand our country? Read Dred Scott v. Sanford, in which the Supreme Court interpreted the Constitution to say that black people were not to be considered citizens, and therefore, could not be granted a citizen's rights. In addition, Scott, a slave who was taken into free states by Sanford, was declared property, and allowing him to be free would be a deprivation of the property of Sanford, and henceforth, a violation of Due Process per the 5th amendment. This was in 1857. We sure have come a long way, haven't we?

I just hate some people. There are just those people who say such stupid shit, that no one wants to hear it. You know what I mean? Like they say something, and everyone cringes. They are a real polarizing force. Im here, in a room full of law students, many a different personality represented. However, this dough head in front, every time he talks, we all just look at each other like, dude, are you serious? Nothing unites people like a shared hatred. Case in point: Went to the Sharks-Blues hockey game on Sat. Like, two years ago, Chris Pronger laid a cheap shot on a Sharks player. So here we are, two years later, booing in unison, cheering every penalty this guy commits. It was like we were all of the same mind for that 3 hours. Rooting for the good guys, booing the bad guys. It was beautiful. High fiving and hugging strangers after goals, being polite to everyone in a Sharks jersey like they were family. And then, we all go outside, ignore each other, drive like idiots, cursing out the Camry that just cut you off. What an amazing dynamic.....

Working out is a great feeling.....until the next day. My arms are absolutely burning. I cant even type! But that means it's working right? Or, it means I've torn every tendon in my elbow.....again.

Soooooooo sleepy. Want nappy......

Ok back...whew!

Ok, a little free flow thought, just gonna type whatever comes to mind:
I wear a pinky ring, is that a good look? I like it, but I dont see alot of people wearing em, except for mob bosses. Not that that is a bad thing. I have been watching the Sopranos religiously this year. That's weird, religiously. We say that alot, anything we do regularly. Shouldn't we be saying habitually? Is it really a religion to just keep doing the same thing over and over again? Then again, maybe it is. When you think about it, for most people, religion just means going to church every Sunday, going through the motions. Half of them have no idea what they are doing there. Just think it's the right thing to do. And have you ever noticed how rude people can be leaving church? There is this mad scramble for the door. It is so weird. I mean, no one HAS to be there, but they all show up, and then can't wait to leave. Seriously, if it is that much of a chore, don't go! Then again, it's all about showing out for each other, making sure people know how pious they are. Yeah right. What a hypocritical world we live in. I would give money to NOT know what goes on behind the closed doors of my neighborhood. Who knows what kind of crazy things people are up to. And that's another thing. Whenever they arrest a serial killer, they always interview the idiotic neighbors, who say "He always kept to himself. He was very quiet." And of course, that is followed with the adage, "It's the quiet ones you gotta worry about." Im not so sure. I'll put you in a room with one guy minding his own business, reading the paper in the corner, and some idiot with his hair on fire screaming at the top of his longs banging a wooden spoon on a pot.........who are you going to keep an eye on? Follow that stupid logic, and you'll be so busy watching the quiet neighbor, the loud and crazy mf behind you will come up and kill ya! But I digress. Life is such a chore. Everyday is a grind, isn't it? You just putter through all the crap looking for those little nuggets of joy during the day. The taste of a freshly opened coke. A new article online by your favorite writer (or blogger?). Reading the paper, or doing the crossword. Little breaks in the day that help you escape from reality. It really does suck when you think about it. How many of us really want to work? No one! Wouldn't we all be happier chillin at home, watching Sale of the Century? There are some driven people in this world, but how driven would they be if there wasn't this economic pecking order established? But now I'm just being idealistic, and that really leads to nothing. Better to think within the constraints of the world we have. It's a grind, but it's not so bad. Save for the violence, and abuse, and mental illness, and pollution, corrupt politics, war, poverty, hatred, racism, sexism........there is still nachos, beer and the ballgame. And somehow, that makes it all ok....



Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I Have No Professional Training....

"When you laugh, the world laughs with you. When you fall, the world laughs at you."

Ah, my dear cherubs. It has happened! William Hung, the unofficial mascot of the Ramblings has cut his first album. The first of many, one can hope. The funniest things in life aren't meant to be funny, and well, this certainly qualifies. This poor sap thinks he is the next great thing, and the guy just isn't in on the joke. Please click here and enjoy the William Hung Experience. You will be forever changed. Here is my personal review of the album:

Never has the title of a CD been more appropriate. I had to wipe away the tears of joy so I could see the screen and type this review. But this is so much more than a review, it is a testimonial. It is Holy Week for Catholics, so I must be sure not to break the commandment of false idols, but William Hung comes awfully close to making that a necessity. His rhythms, his vocal stylings, his irresistable charm, all mix together to create what true fans would call a cross between Michael Jackson, Corky, and the lady who runs the Liquor Mart on Story and King and doesnt speak English. Oh William, the emotions you raise in me! When you warbled, I believe I can fly....i was soaring along side you. The version is so dead on to the R Kelly original, I am sure it is only a matter of time before young William is urinating on his own underaged groupies. Bill Hung, you epitomize the American Dream like no other....and I, sir, salute you!

I am so burnt out. Ever just hit a wall? I feel like an NBA rookie who is playing 82 games for the first time. All of this work and school and everything is just tearing me up. I am lathargic, and just disinterested. I totally need to re-energize. Maybe Easter weekend will be good for me. God I hope so. You ever get that way? Where you are pushing along, and then everything just because too much, and you are like, screw it, I need to drop everything for a couple days and just.....be. Im at that point. Trying to find my second wind to get me through finals. Gonna be a tough month, but I should make it. Just gotta suck it up, huh?

I recently came to grips with how broke I have been for some time. When someone gives you a class of good scotch, and you absolutely choke it down, you know you haven't been financially solid for some time. Months and months of cheap beer has turned me into a redneck drinker. I can't even stomach quality liquor anymore. There was a time, when I actually had disposable income, where Grey Goose or Glenfiddich were the norm. Now, it's like, "What'll you have?" "Um, what are your specials?" Oh, Dog Piss Pilsner for a buck? Give me that!

Wow, what a news flash. Yahoo reports that Alzheimers can cut your life expectancy in half. Well no duh, you forget everything you ever did. No matter when you pass, you can only remember what you did 5 minutes ago....

Great, a radio station in San Fran is holding a Walk for Arthritis. How long is the walk, like 5 feet? So we'll all walk 25 miles to raise money for people who can't walk across their living room without pain. Talk about ironic. What other great fundraisers do they have in the works? Jump Rope for Multiple Sclerosis? Trivia Contest for Alzheimers? Pie Eating Contest for Anorexia?

Man, The Passion is becoming a big hit in the Middle East where anti-sematism runs rampant. One Muslim reviewer wrote, "This movie unmasks the Jews for their wrong doings. I hope everyone sees this and turns on the Jews." Now, mind you, he wrote it about Welcome to Mooseport, but still......

So now they are employing encarcerated criminals as telemarketers. Makes perfect sense, because telemarketers should be in jail anyways. Always calling me, like I really need the New York Times. Jeez, I dont even live in New York. Anyways, Im not sure this is a great idea. Like I want the leader of the Long Beach Crips to have my home number, calling me at dinner threatening me to change my long distance carrier...

I have a real question. Why do women's groups look at rap videos, Playboy, the SI Swimsuit Issue, and claim it exploits women? Im sorry, but is someone holding a gun to their heads. Whatever happened to letting consenting adults do what they want? Why does everyone feel the need to save people who obviously dont need the help? It just blows my mind. Wouldnt this place be way better if everyone just kept their nose out of everyone else's business?

The back of my knee itches.