My Band, My Band

Yeah dude, I think, like, people are like, just jealous, cuz, Im like, the lead singer of the band, dude......

So we were joking about alzheimer's disease yesterday. Um, did that come out wrong? Just noticing that it's not all bad, you know. If you have alzheimers, you meet new people everyday. And all the great stuff that ever happened is news to you. "What, we landed on the moon? That's great!" "Hey, how did World War II come out? We won! Alright!" But then my roommate brought it back down, you know, because she is a caregiver, and has seen people get really bad. I guess, if you have Alzheimers, it gets so bad, that you forget how to swallow, and you starve. That is so sad. What is real sad was that I realized how many ex-girlfriends of mine must have actually had Alzheimers. I hope they are doing ok.....

So I was looking at this classmates.com site today, just goofing around. It was weird, seeing the names of people from not only High School, but Middle School too. So I'm looking through my Middle School class, and I remembered a name from back then. She wasn't on there, but I remembered a girl I had the biggest crush on back then. I won't even mention it, cause I know all my friends could still remember to this day, 16 years after we finished Middle School. So, I thought, ok, Ill check the Yahoo people search, just as a joke. I found her. Imagine that! But that isnt the weird part. Her family had a website, so I checked that, just to see if it was her, and Ill be damned if it wasnt. So, the weird part is where she lives now.....here. San Diego! That is the craziest thing. On a whim, I look up some girl I had a crush on when I was a little dork who didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, and she ends up living around the corner. Small.....freaking.....world!

Moving on....

Just a note to let everyone know that I think I'm ready to move on. I think I talked about the stages of grief crap already. Well, in a moment of great clarity, I think I achieved acceptance. It just became clear to me, that I want her to be happy, and if I really mean that, I have to let her go. That's what it means to love. I also realized that it is stupid to try and maintain a relationship when the other person doesn't want it. Because even if they say yes, all you have done is get yourself a bad relationship. Then, they are miserable, and they make you miserable. That's just dumb. Life is too short to waste on being polite for the sake of a relationship. I dont think we made a mistake, but if she does, Im not gonna all of a sudden change her mind. So, time for me to just take it all for what it is. It's a nice feeling though. The world seems so much brighter now. I look at everything different, and I can see a different future. There is no cloudiness, there is no more uncertainty. All of that has been replaced by hope and anticipation. So, let's all move on together. Group hug.....