Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its Off to Blog I Go
"That's the ugliest hat I've ever seen.....oooh, but it looks good on you!"
Why don't ugly people know they are ugly? And fat people, do they realize they are fat? I have a little beer gut working (very little!) but I know not to wear my old pants just yet. I need about a week of cardio, then I can squeeze back in to those bad boys. Seriously, I need to lose maybe 5 lbs, which takes like 3 days. But you see these totally obese people squeezing into spandex. What possesses a person to do that? I guess the same force that lets people with 4 inch biceps go out in public in tank tops. Um, that is not a good look brother. Looking like a box of dental floss with the floss hanging out the side is not a dope look. And ugly people. There are some people out there, where you just stare, because the look they chose is ridiculous. Don't people look in the mirror? Does the guy with the hitler mustache, the comb over, and the plaid pants with yellow shirt honestly look in the mirror and say, "Oh yeah, that's it right there. Can't improve on that." I mean, that is brutal. No one has taste that bad, do they? DO THEY??!
Should there be an IQ test for ownership of certain things? Is there such a thing as being too stupid to do things like drive? We worry about criminal records for gun owners, but shouldnt we also be concerned about intelligence? Can you imagine, a credit check for a car, a little negotiation, and then.....the Wonderlic Test. Ok sir, I see your credit checks out, now two questions: first, do you want passenger seat airbags? and second, if train A leaves El Paso going 45 mph........
Speaking of morons, can they please stay off of my radio? I have always thought that talk radio might be reserved for intelligent people. Wrong! Not only to idiots listen to talk and sports radio, but they are the primary callers. Is there a link between having the nerve to make a national radio call and having absolutely nothing intelligent to say? These morons, calling in, "Uh, yeah Bob, Im a huge Warrior fan. What do you think about them trading their second round pick and a hot dog cart for Shaq. I think that would make them good." Yeah, I think so too. Not sure that's gonna happen there, Scooter. Don't they screen these morons?
It's one thing to play the race card. It's convenient, it's powerful, and alot of times, it's appropriate. There is another card being played way too much though....the sex card. Most glaring is the use in sports. It seems that since sports have become so integrated, and there really isnt that white guilt that used to exist so much, it has been replaced by male guilt. It seems to me that women's sports are taking advantage of this male guilt to force these new leagues down our throats. Look, Im all for women's sports, and I want my future daughter to play sports and all that, but do I think she "deserves" the opportunity to play professional sports? Absolutely not. The same way I dont think my future son deserves a professional Water Polo league, if that's what he chooses to play. It's a question of viability. If there happens to be a league, and it works, then great, make that a goal. Just don't make me feel like Im a sexist just because I think watching women's sports is like watching blind people play dodgeball. Actually, that might be more exciting. Look, not everything works out. Nice try, but no body wants to watch it. I bought my wife season tickets to the women's soccer league, and even SHE didnt want to go. I know more about the league than her. So, fold that bad boy up, or make it low key, and just level expectations. Isnt it odd that there are two small men's hoops leagues (USBL and the CBA) which have stayed viable for a while, while the WNBA is struggling, even after having millions pumped into it by the NBA? And while talking WNBA, why are they going on strike? Shouldn't they be happy that they make more than minimum wage? I think 20 bucks an hour might be better than 50 grand a year. Hell, give me 50 grand a year, Ill take it. I dont know. You notice, women's tennis is more popular than men's tennis. So what does that tell you? It has nothing to do with men vs. women, it's just about entertainment. If it works, then cool. If it doesnt, then dont cry, it just didnt work.
Wasn't a huge fan of Disneyland, and then I read Fast Food Nation, and well, I dont think Ill be going back there anytime soon. I wont even bore you with the extremist nature of Walt Disney, but suffice to say, not the cuddly father figure he made himself out to be. I know, big shock. But the themepark itself, it can just be too much. Not sure I want my kids being indoctrinated into this giant corporate mill that grinds out a plethora of advertising aimed at grabbing kids by the throat and insisting that they attack their parents with request after request to buy, buy and buy. And the lines, the lines! Hours upon hours so that I can go in a circle for a minute. Is that really sufficient reward for that kind of sweat? Can you imagine some poor Russian wating in line for Space Mountain, then getting to the front, "Vere iz my cheese and bread?" There really should be a reward for waiting in line for two hours. At least at the bank or the DMV, you accomplish something at the end.
Speaking of Mickey Mouse, why does the news report Mickey's birthday? Is this vital news information that I absolutely need? My guess is, if I cared about Mickey's birthday that much, I would have memorized it years ago! No wonder the rest of the world can't take us seriously, we are devoting valuable news time to the age of an imaginary rodent.
What is with PETA? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, what the hell is their problem? They are always whining about something. Cows are mistreated, dont eat meat, dont do this, poor chickens, poor this, poor that. Look, cows spend all day eating, sleeping. They get fed, they get shelter. The worst thing that happens during the day is they get milked. Whoopee. Hell, sign me up for that. But this is considered abuse by PETA. What exactly would cows be doing if they weren't suffering this haneous abuse? Are they so psychologically scarred that it's keeping them from reaching their full potential? They are freaking cows! If we didnt milk em, they'd (a) sit around, (b) eat grass. Um, that's it. Are we interfering with some lifestyle that Im not aware of? Does it even matter that people around the world are suffering 10 times or 100 times worse?
Is motivation overrated? Are there some people that shouldnt be encouraged? Motivation gets us into worse trouble than laziness. Nazis, rapists, serial killers, tax cheats, and dirty CEOs......these are some highly motivated people. Show me a guy on his couch eating Cheetohs and watching SpongeBob, and Ill show you a guy who isnt causing any freaking trouble.
It seems odd to me that we all stand in the shower, but if it's raining outside, there is this fear of getting wet. Umbrellas, newspapers, coats....we put up anything to prevent the absolute drenching we will take in that 14 second walk to the car. What is the big deal? Last time I checked, water dries. I know, amazing concept. And what is that cringe that we all do in the rain? You know, the exagerrated shoulder shrug to avoid getting wet? What is that move? It's like water on the sides of our neck is the worst thing possible.....
Movie Review: KILL BILL, VOL. 1
I don't want to say brilliant, because that would lead to an overuse of the word. It is a word that is tossed around too easily, and should be reserved for films like The Godfather, The Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, Memento and The Matrix. Movies that take you to new places, make you rethink things about how movies are made. They force you out of the box, even when you dont want to go. Kill Bill comes very close to reaching that point. Wearing the skin of Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill blends exquisite story telling with real characters. Not characters that fit the plot or allow for a smooth transition from scene to scene. In truth, there is no smooth transition, which helps lend to the reality of the flick (even though it ventures as far from reality as possible). The characters have heart, soul, and their own story to tell. So much so, that Tarantino is compelled to delve into each individual's story, as if to say, we can not truly understand the reason behind, or the magnitude of, each death without first examining each life. Parts of the movie are certainly gratiutous, but for the most part, the spurting blood and expelled gastro-intestinal tracts are less there to repulse you, but are more of an homage to Japanese Anime (which itself is spliced into the film seemlessly). And even for the buckets of blood that are poured, there is something about the film which makes it seem secondary, almost.....necessary. I found myself at the end of the film wondering what all the hype was about in regards to the gore, before I noticed a spatter of blood on my own pants. The film is violent, no doubt. But the subject matter demands a violent narrative. The one negative of the film is that it absolutely screams Tarantino. It is so nattily drenched in his personality, at one point I asked why he even bothered putting his name in the credits. Even the slightest exposure to his earlier work would allow a viewer of this movie to recognize his fingerprints all over the final cut. Not that that is a bad thing, mind you. 4.5/5 stars. Rent, then buy.
Why don't ugly people know they are ugly? And fat people, do they realize they are fat? I have a little beer gut working (very little!) but I know not to wear my old pants just yet. I need about a week of cardio, then I can squeeze back in to those bad boys. Seriously, I need to lose maybe 5 lbs, which takes like 3 days. But you see these totally obese people squeezing into spandex. What possesses a person to do that? I guess the same force that lets people with 4 inch biceps go out in public in tank tops. Um, that is not a good look brother. Looking like a box of dental floss with the floss hanging out the side is not a dope look. And ugly people. There are some people out there, where you just stare, because the look they chose is ridiculous. Don't people look in the mirror? Does the guy with the hitler mustache, the comb over, and the plaid pants with yellow shirt honestly look in the mirror and say, "Oh yeah, that's it right there. Can't improve on that." I mean, that is brutal. No one has taste that bad, do they? DO THEY??!
Should there be an IQ test for ownership of certain things? Is there such a thing as being too stupid to do things like drive? We worry about criminal records for gun owners, but shouldnt we also be concerned about intelligence? Can you imagine, a credit check for a car, a little negotiation, and then.....the Wonderlic Test. Ok sir, I see your credit checks out, now two questions: first, do you want passenger seat airbags? and second, if train A leaves El Paso going 45 mph........
Speaking of morons, can they please stay off of my radio? I have always thought that talk radio might be reserved for intelligent people. Wrong! Not only to idiots listen to talk and sports radio, but they are the primary callers. Is there a link between having the nerve to make a national radio call and having absolutely nothing intelligent to say? These morons, calling in, "Uh, yeah Bob, Im a huge Warrior fan. What do you think about them trading their second round pick and a hot dog cart for Shaq. I think that would make them good." Yeah, I think so too. Not sure that's gonna happen there, Scooter. Don't they screen these morons?
It's one thing to play the race card. It's convenient, it's powerful, and alot of times, it's appropriate. There is another card being played way too much though....the sex card. Most glaring is the use in sports. It seems that since sports have become so integrated, and there really isnt that white guilt that used to exist so much, it has been replaced by male guilt. It seems to me that women's sports are taking advantage of this male guilt to force these new leagues down our throats. Look, Im all for women's sports, and I want my future daughter to play sports and all that, but do I think she "deserves" the opportunity to play professional sports? Absolutely not. The same way I dont think my future son deserves a professional Water Polo league, if that's what he chooses to play. It's a question of viability. If there happens to be a league, and it works, then great, make that a goal. Just don't make me feel like Im a sexist just because I think watching women's sports is like watching blind people play dodgeball. Actually, that might be more exciting. Look, not everything works out. Nice try, but no body wants to watch it. I bought my wife season tickets to the women's soccer league, and even SHE didnt want to go. I know more about the league than her. So, fold that bad boy up, or make it low key, and just level expectations. Isnt it odd that there are two small men's hoops leagues (USBL and the CBA) which have stayed viable for a while, while the WNBA is struggling, even after having millions pumped into it by the NBA? And while talking WNBA, why are they going on strike? Shouldn't they be happy that they make more than minimum wage? I think 20 bucks an hour might be better than 50 grand a year. Hell, give me 50 grand a year, Ill take it. I dont know. You notice, women's tennis is more popular than men's tennis. So what does that tell you? It has nothing to do with men vs. women, it's just about entertainment. If it works, then cool. If it doesnt, then dont cry, it just didnt work.
Wasn't a huge fan of Disneyland, and then I read Fast Food Nation, and well, I dont think Ill be going back there anytime soon. I wont even bore you with the extremist nature of Walt Disney, but suffice to say, not the cuddly father figure he made himself out to be. I know, big shock. But the themepark itself, it can just be too much. Not sure I want my kids being indoctrinated into this giant corporate mill that grinds out a plethora of advertising aimed at grabbing kids by the throat and insisting that they attack their parents with request after request to buy, buy and buy. And the lines, the lines! Hours upon hours so that I can go in a circle for a minute. Is that really sufficient reward for that kind of sweat? Can you imagine some poor Russian wating in line for Space Mountain, then getting to the front, "Vere iz my cheese and bread?" There really should be a reward for waiting in line for two hours. At least at the bank or the DMV, you accomplish something at the end.
Speaking of Mickey Mouse, why does the news report Mickey's birthday? Is this vital news information that I absolutely need? My guess is, if I cared about Mickey's birthday that much, I would have memorized it years ago! No wonder the rest of the world can't take us seriously, we are devoting valuable news time to the age of an imaginary rodent.
What is with PETA? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, what the hell is their problem? They are always whining about something. Cows are mistreated, dont eat meat, dont do this, poor chickens, poor this, poor that. Look, cows spend all day eating, sleeping. They get fed, they get shelter. The worst thing that happens during the day is they get milked. Whoopee. Hell, sign me up for that. But this is considered abuse by PETA. What exactly would cows be doing if they weren't suffering this haneous abuse? Are they so psychologically scarred that it's keeping them from reaching their full potential? They are freaking cows! If we didnt milk em, they'd (a) sit around, (b) eat grass. Um, that's it. Are we interfering with some lifestyle that Im not aware of? Does it even matter that people around the world are suffering 10 times or 100 times worse?
Is motivation overrated? Are there some people that shouldnt be encouraged? Motivation gets us into worse trouble than laziness. Nazis, rapists, serial killers, tax cheats, and dirty CEOs......these are some highly motivated people. Show me a guy on his couch eating Cheetohs and watching SpongeBob, and Ill show you a guy who isnt causing any freaking trouble.
It seems odd to me that we all stand in the shower, but if it's raining outside, there is this fear of getting wet. Umbrellas, newspapers, coats....we put up anything to prevent the absolute drenching we will take in that 14 second walk to the car. What is the big deal? Last time I checked, water dries. I know, amazing concept. And what is that cringe that we all do in the rain? You know, the exagerrated shoulder shrug to avoid getting wet? What is that move? It's like water on the sides of our neck is the worst thing possible.....
Movie Review: KILL BILL, VOL. 1
I don't want to say brilliant, because that would lead to an overuse of the word. It is a word that is tossed around too easily, and should be reserved for films like The Godfather, The Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, Memento and The Matrix. Movies that take you to new places, make you rethink things about how movies are made. They force you out of the box, even when you dont want to go. Kill Bill comes very close to reaching that point. Wearing the skin of Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill blends exquisite story telling with real characters. Not characters that fit the plot or allow for a smooth transition from scene to scene. In truth, there is no smooth transition, which helps lend to the reality of the flick (even though it ventures as far from reality as possible). The characters have heart, soul, and their own story to tell. So much so, that Tarantino is compelled to delve into each individual's story, as if to say, we can not truly understand the reason behind, or the magnitude of, each death without first examining each life. Parts of the movie are certainly gratiutous, but for the most part, the spurting blood and expelled gastro-intestinal tracts are less there to repulse you, but are more of an homage to Japanese Anime (which itself is spliced into the film seemlessly). And even for the buckets of blood that are poured, there is something about the film which makes it seem secondary, almost.....necessary. I found myself at the end of the film wondering what all the hype was about in regards to the gore, before I noticed a spatter of blood on my own pants. The film is violent, no doubt. But the subject matter demands a violent narrative. The one negative of the film is that it absolutely screams Tarantino. It is so nattily drenched in his personality, at one point I asked why he even bothered putting his name in the credits. Even the slightest exposure to his earlier work would allow a viewer of this movie to recognize his fingerprints all over the final cut. Not that that is a bad thing, mind you. 4.5/5 stars. Rent, then buy.
