Day 7, 8, 9: Catching Up
Lots to catch up on, not a single bit of it interesting. I didn't blog this weekend, I was having a bit of a downer. Emotional crash I suppose. I was running on adrenaline for a week, the newness of being here, the excitement of getting paid....the whole nine yards. Then Sat, I crashed, and came way down off that natural drug. Coupled with 104 degree heat and a sudden realization I wouldn't see my girl's face for at least 3 more weeks, and I just played Fight Night and ordered a pizza. That's all done now, my friends. Back on track. Up at 7, in the office by 8. Lunch at 3:00, brought from home of course. Did some grocery shopping yesterday. I get in 50 free throws in the last bits of sun when I get home at 6:45, then it's an hour in the gym listening to the latest podcast of Stephanopolous, Meet the Press, or Washington Week. Back to the room, I throw on Daniel Powter's "Bad Day", Ace's favorite song, and I exorcise the lonliness by belting it out (to the disdain of my neighbors, Im sure). Into the shower, go I, and I come out clean as a whistle. Immediately, I pop in a West Wing DVD, then open the fridge to load up on whatever protein based food I have stocked the fridge with (along with a couple Soft Batch cookies....am I wrong, or are those things straight from heaven?). In bed by midnight, although asleep by two (working on that....damn you time zones!). Then up and at em, and we do it all again. Look forward to that for the next three months. At least I get Saturdays off. This weekend, I shall be seeing Clerks II, though I will probably go to hell for spending money on it. Problem is, I can't see any of the blockbusters, because Im waiting to see them with Ace! So no X-Men, no Pirates.....hell, no Cars! Maybe I can see Click, but that's not a consolation.....it's probably a punishment. I pause now to shower.....
....done! Feeling squeaky clean, and got some food now. A co-worker from Texas was training me today, and used the word "Clintonesque" to describe something he felt was shady. That bothered me. His boy Bush is the biggest liar of them all, yet this idea that Slick Willie is such a bad guy lives on. I bit my tongue, and Im a better person for it.
I can't even begin to explain how insane Louisiana is. Never mind the backwater, bayou images you get from the media or the movies. It's just like any other place, except for the fact that it might as well be Mars. Weird-ass laws, since they are under something called the Napoleanic Code. Words like "usufruct" (or WTF as I call it) and "paraph". It might as well be Greek. Bond Deeds, Cash Sale Deeds.....I feel like I have to go to Tulane to understand half the things going on there. And that doesn't even count the phone calls from Orleans Parish, half of wish I can't understand. But it all works out in the end. I dealt with a very good guy today in Mississippi, whom I asked for three documents, which he immediately sent. Not a single hitch. When things go like they should, it's a beautiful thing.
So who are the five people I would most like to punch in the face? I've thought long and hard, and I think my list reads like this:
5. K-Fed: Britany Spears' husband, Kevin Federline. For some reason he thinks that (a) he has talent, and that (b) not shaving and wearing a dirty wifebeater is "snappy dressing". I'd like to say that I cant see what Britany sees in him, but we aren't talking about a major sophisticate either. You can take the girl out of the bayou, but you cant take the bayou out of the girl.
4. Whoever is in charge of ESPN: I don't care about TO. Hey ESPN, I don't don't don't care about this man. I don't care about him, I don't care about Barbaro, I don't care about Barry Bonds.....and no one else does. No one, do you hear me. Please, I don't need the Cowboys press conference aired live, I don't need to know how Barbaro is feeling, and I don't need a 24 hour channel following Dwyane Wade. I am so tired of hype, it's ruining the specialness of sports.
3. Pat Robertson: Im not anti-religion, Im just anti-hearing about it. I don't want you on my TV preaching, I dont want to hear you on the radio, I dont want to see you at my door. None of it. You like Jesus, great. Keep it to yourself! The next person who asks me if I have taken Jesus as my savior gets Zidaned. This guy said that Pennsylvania got flooded because they believed in evolution. This is a guy who says 9/11 happened because we are too tolerant of gays. This guy needs a good ass kickin.
2. Bill O'Reilly: You smug bastard. How can a single human being know so little, yet tell so many others how ignorant they are. For some reason, he believes that the smartest guy in the room is he who talks loudest. An absolute drain on the populace, I wouldn't mind rounding up every single person who watches his show regularly, and shipping them to Guam. (So that the whole list isn't Republicans, feel free to add Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh to this spot. They can both die for all I care.)
1. George W. Bush: Come on, this was a no-brainer, wasn't it? I'd love to say that I respect the office of the President so much, that I couldn't possibly talk bad about whoever held it....but when you mistreat the office as he has, you offend me and every other American. After watching his performance on CNN (if you haven't seen it, go there and look for the video where he chats with his mouth open and full of food with Tony Blair while dropping curses on him....it's deporable). In reality, I don't want to punch him so much as I want to disrespect him. I would love to stand face to face with him on national television, have him extend his hand to me, and put my hands in my pockets. I would like nothing more than to tell him to his face that he is a disgrace. Now Rove, him I'd drill in the chin....
Feel free to add to this list any racist, any sexist, men who abuse women, child abusers, and anyone who messes with my girlfriend, my family or my friends. I guess it would be easier to do a list of people I don't want to punch. I need to rethink my life.......
I close with the fact that as I drove to get gas today, I saw a church on the side of the road that had a giant flag flying, easily some 25 by 50 feet (NO LIE), waving in the wind, with the word "JESUS" on it. Nothing else. Nothing says faith in a higher being quite like a giant flag.
....done! Feeling squeaky clean, and got some food now. A co-worker from Texas was training me today, and used the word "Clintonesque" to describe something he felt was shady. That bothered me. His boy Bush is the biggest liar of them all, yet this idea that Slick Willie is such a bad guy lives on. I bit my tongue, and Im a better person for it.
I can't even begin to explain how insane Louisiana is. Never mind the backwater, bayou images you get from the media or the movies. It's just like any other place, except for the fact that it might as well be Mars. Weird-ass laws, since they are under something called the Napoleanic Code. Words like "usufruct" (or WTF as I call it) and "paraph". It might as well be Greek. Bond Deeds, Cash Sale Deeds.....I feel like I have to go to Tulane to understand half the things going on there. And that doesn't even count the phone calls from Orleans Parish, half of wish I can't understand. But it all works out in the end. I dealt with a very good guy today in Mississippi, whom I asked for three documents, which he immediately sent. Not a single hitch. When things go like they should, it's a beautiful thing.
So who are the five people I would most like to punch in the face? I've thought long and hard, and I think my list reads like this:
5. K-Fed: Britany Spears' husband, Kevin Federline. For some reason he thinks that (a) he has talent, and that (b) not shaving and wearing a dirty wifebeater is "snappy dressing". I'd like to say that I cant see what Britany sees in him, but we aren't talking about a major sophisticate either. You can take the girl out of the bayou, but you cant take the bayou out of the girl.
4. Whoever is in charge of ESPN: I don't care about TO. Hey ESPN, I don't don't don't care about this man. I don't care about him, I don't care about Barbaro, I don't care about Barry Bonds.....and no one else does. No one, do you hear me. Please, I don't need the Cowboys press conference aired live, I don't need to know how Barbaro is feeling, and I don't need a 24 hour channel following Dwyane Wade. I am so tired of hype, it's ruining the specialness of sports.
3. Pat Robertson: Im not anti-religion, Im just anti-hearing about it. I don't want you on my TV preaching, I dont want to hear you on the radio, I dont want to see you at my door. None of it. You like Jesus, great. Keep it to yourself! The next person who asks me if I have taken Jesus as my savior gets Zidaned. This guy said that Pennsylvania got flooded because they believed in evolution. This is a guy who says 9/11 happened because we are too tolerant of gays. This guy needs a good ass kickin.
2. Bill O'Reilly: You smug bastard. How can a single human being know so little, yet tell so many others how ignorant they are. For some reason, he believes that the smartest guy in the room is he who talks loudest. An absolute drain on the populace, I wouldn't mind rounding up every single person who watches his show regularly, and shipping them to Guam. (So that the whole list isn't Republicans, feel free to add Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh to this spot. They can both die for all I care.)
1. George W. Bush: Come on, this was a no-brainer, wasn't it? I'd love to say that I respect the office of the President so much, that I couldn't possibly talk bad about whoever held it....but when you mistreat the office as he has, you offend me and every other American. After watching his performance on CNN (if you haven't seen it, go there and look for the video where he chats with his mouth open and full of food with Tony Blair while dropping curses on him....it's deporable). In reality, I don't want to punch him so much as I want to disrespect him. I would love to stand face to face with him on national television, have him extend his hand to me, and put my hands in my pockets. I would like nothing more than to tell him to his face that he is a disgrace. Now Rove, him I'd drill in the chin....
Feel free to add to this list any racist, any sexist, men who abuse women, child abusers, and anyone who messes with my girlfriend, my family or my friends. I guess it would be easier to do a list of people I don't want to punch. I need to rethink my life.......
I close with the fact that as I drove to get gas today, I saw a church on the side of the road that had a giant flag flying, easily some 25 by 50 feet (NO LIE), waving in the wind, with the word "JESUS" on it. Nothing else. Nothing says faith in a higher being quite like a giant flag.
